Jan 26, 2012
Waddup, Folk? Those of you who are still HERE, anyway. I know, it's been a minute. Well, it's been MONTHS, to be exact. As you know, I really don't come over here much.
Why? for 2 reasons:
2. I AIN'T GOT SHIT TO TALK ABOUT..and what I DO talk about, it's on Twitter.
This one is gonna be too damn much for twitters 140 Characters, so for those of you have actually give a damn what I have to say and those of you who actually like to READ, Take a seat.
Oh, and even though it's late: HAPPY 2012, BLOGGER! Better late than never.
So, those of you who have followed me from Social networking site to HERE some years ago know that I blog (or HAVE blogged) about my family a lot. Of course, I don't and WON'T tell you everything because some things are none of your business but what I want you to know, I'll tell you. I love my Mother to death and would do anything for that woman. It must be a guy thing. NO woman can compete with our Mothers, just like NO man can compete with a Females Father. Of course, there ARE some exceptions to that but you get my point. My Dad? Well, we have a very COOL Relationship. Let me help you understand further.
My Mother and Grandmother (Rest her soul) practically raised me while my Father was dealing with his Drug issues (unbeknown to ME at the time). The thing is, growing up, YEAH, I always wondered why my Dad wasn't around much but I was always so involved in OTHER shit that I didn't think much of it. My Mother never bath mouthed him to me (although I DID hear some shit she HAS said that she doesn't know about. Hey, I was good at sneakin' up on people as kid) and she never explained where he was or anything like that but she always made me call him for Birthdays, holidays, etc. I visited him sometimes, too. I just really started visiting to him and talking to him MORE frequently than I used to as an adult. I'm not really close to his side of the family because I didn't see him much and they're very Shady people. Don't get me wrong, I love them but I'd just rather not deal with the flakiness that is THEM. I AM cool with my Cousins (most of them) and 2 of his siblings but my Grandmother? Well...I just tolerate her. She always favored her daughters kids over her 2 sons kids. She HAD 3 sons but one got killed. None of my cousins OR me ever met him. Hell, we've never even seen a picture of him. Anyway, My Grandmother was a Shady Bitch. Always has been, always will be. My Grandmother is a wonderful person but when it comes to HER? He's a bitch. He'll just go along with anything to make her happy. In all my years growing up, I've seen them and knew who they were but was never close to them. She never liked my Mother because they were BOTH too much alike, HELL Raisers. So, you know how that goes. The Favoritism thing with my Grandmother never bothered me because I didn't feel love deprived. My Mother's side of the family had my back on that. If anything, it confused me because I never had to deal with that because my Mother's side didn't do that too much.
My Father is a wonderful person but I've always viewed him as kinda like the fun uncle that you don't see often but when he comes around, It's a good time with him. To this very day, I don't even call him "Dad". I call him "Senior" because me and him have the same first name or I call him "Old man". Every ONCE in a while, I'll call him "Father" to piss him off because he hates to be called that. One year he apologized for his absence in my life and I accepted because he was surprised that I could still want a relationship with him. My Mother always told me "No matter what, he's still your father" and I live by that. I WILL admit that he stepped up for some things whenever he was ASKED to...but my thing was "Why would I HAVE to ask. You know I need shit every day". Child support was out the question. Hell, whenever he DID pay it, it was like a special treat. I see the way he acts with my little cousins and it kinda makes me jealous because I'm like "Why couldn't you do that for ME?". They love the old fool to DEATH and he'll do anything to help them and it's like "HELLO! I'm over here". But what's done is done and I can't change that. I have to remind him sometimes when NOW if I'm in a bind and I call him out of PURE desperation and he says some shit like "I can't wait for the day you'll take care of Me" that "You don't get the benefits of being the Father without doing the work". All I can say is thank GOD for my Mother's Father, who is the best Grandfather in the world. My Mom says "He wasn't much of a Father but he a DAMN good Grandfather'".
What's the purpose of all of this? Nothing really. Just thoughts of a crazy Negreaux. But I do see so many people going through this myself. They're growing up or HAVE grown up just like this. So, you're not alone. You might think you are but you ain't. I'm done.
Jul 12, 2011
Jun 21, 2011
Feb 11, 2011
Nov 27, 2010
Oct 1, 2010
It's been a while since I've posted over here. It's really not because I haven't had anything to say. Those of you who follow me on Twitter know I have PLENTY of things to say and plenty of fucktation to post on the daily. It's really because I was just being Lazy or lack of time. Also, I really think I've lost my touch. Y'all know I don't really partake in the latest Gossip on Celebrities (often) or things of that nature. I leave that up to my blogging counterparts. I really felt as thought nobody would be interested in what I'd have to say if it didn't contribute to that. I've missed the blogging forum because it was like therapy for me. Things I've wanted to get off my chest, I did it through a blog. Things I wanted to say that made folks laugh, I did it in a blog. It's gotten me in trouble with some people who've read them but hey, it just wouldn't be a day if I didn't piss somebody off. Can't please everybody, right? I plan to get back to this place a lot more often now because I've found my passion again. The usual shit will go on: some of what I say will make you laugh, some will make you cry, some will make you mad, and some will make you say WTF?! like usual. A lot's been going on with me and I feel the need to just get it out in the best way that I know how.
So, what's been up with me? Here we go. I've still been working Temp Jobs a lot here and there and it seems as though when I completely ran outta money, one came right on time. Nobody but God gets the credit for that. At the Moment, I'm unemployed AGAIN because I got fired. It was because I got snitched on by one of the bosses pets. Those who've worked with me know all about it and how it went down. Even my OTHER boss knew. I won't go into the details of it because I'll get more pissed off about it about but it is what it is. I got in from work and I got the call no more than 2 minutes after I sat down that I was being let go. I still had a smile on my face the whole time I was getting "Laid out". Yeah, it pissed me off but I'm like something better is coming my way.
Another thing that happened to me was that I've been appointed as the "Assistant" Minister of Music at my Church a year ago. Not getting paid for it but I still love it..most days. We got a new head Minster of Music that saw me the Sunday before he started (He started October 2009) and he liked what he saw, as did my Pastor and the rest is History. It was all well and good with the Choir Members, also, as long as I did what they wanted. See, you have to understand that I'm the youngest Member and have been since I first started with them at the age of 14. Even then, I could feel some of the "Tension" with them because...well..a young person ain't supposed to have as much knowledge as them, especially when they've been doing this before I was even thought of. So imagine little old me trying to teach folks how to sing who date back to the days in church before they even had instruments and who sang with my Great-Grandmother and remember my Grandfather as a child, let alone my Mother, her cousins and THEIR children, me included, since we popped out the womb. Many of them are respectful and supportive but there are a few who try me. I've lost it in a few rehearsals and even on Sunday Mornings and a few times Minster of Music has had to set them straight on how to deal with me. Don't think I haven't been set straight a few times. I understand why, tho: they're old traditional petty folks and they're still salty about the absence of our Former Minister of Music, so they're trying to hold onto their glory days. They thought with my "addition", I'd keep the ways of Old going and when they found out I WASN'T (for the most part), it ruffled some feathers. Add to the fact that I don't play an instrument and can't read music (YET...at least no anymore). So, YUP. It's a challenge but as my Supporters on the choir say, as well as Minister of Music and my family, "Don't worry about them because they're mad they can't do what YOU do". Wonderful advice, although some days are harder than others. I even tried to quit a few times but you know (some) of the powers that be weren't having it. So, all I'ma ask of you is PRAY! Just PRAY.
Jul 17, 2010
Tell me why do people find the need to try to take care of everybody else shit but their own? It's CRAZY man. It's funny because the same people who try to school you on certain aspects are fucked up in that VERY same thing. Don't know what the hell I'm talkin' bout? Let me give you some examples:
1. they'll tell you how to treat your spouse or you significant other, but they ain't had orgasm since Jesus was born...and all the people THEY dated cheated on them.
2. They'll tell you how to discipline your kids but they kids acting like Monsters.
3. They'll tell you how to clean your house and your clothes, but they shit look like they just came outta dogs ass.
Feel me? I knew you would.
These are the kindsa people that you should REALLY watch out for because they mean you no good. They have all the answers to YOUR problems but their problems have YET to be solved. Something is very wrong there. Personally, I choose to take advice from people who have been there, done that, wore the T-shirt, wrote the bestseller and got lifetime achievement award. Do you really want somebody who hasn't been through what YOU are going through to give you advice on how to get through it? This sounds so damn hypocritical on my part because I've written so many blogs on here giving people advice (and telling people offline the same shit) and I haven't been in MANY of your conditions.....but I OBSERVE!! I'll tell you what I've SEEN works, even if it may not happen to me. Trust me, I care about all of y'alls well being as much as I do with my people offline. Y'all educate me , So I try to do the same thing. Whatever I learn from others, I spread that same knowledge to everybody that I can. With that being said, Let me educate you some more:
BE CAREFUL WHO YOU LISTEN TO!!!!
Just as you should be careful what you tell people, you should be careful of what you listen to when others tell you shit. Some of it's bullshit, quite frankly, and I know that with some of you, the last thing you need is bullshit. So, don't listen to the bullshiter. Other other hand, DO listen to the bullshiter, because they are some good teachers, too. It's funny but as I was typing this, I came to the conclusion that I keep at least ONE of those bullshiters around because they teach me more shit than NON-Bullshitters. Take heed of what I've previously typed before, but tell those people that you have in your life that are bullshiters Thank you for teaching you more than you can EVER learn from a non-bullshitter. K?Done!
Jul 7, 2010
Curse the dude who thought that dating a stupid girl was the cool thing to do!! I'm seeing it more and more each day. It's really crazy and disturbing, to say the least. When did it become popular for a dude to start dating stupid girls? When did it become popular for a girl to be stupid? I mean, for real, there are some girl who are just......well...they are fuckin' AIRHEADS! You have to wonder how some of them operate because it doesn't seem like they have a brain. Some dudes are this way, too. I mean, you stupid for wantin' a girl that don't know how to do shit like, Balance a checkbook, clean a house, and at LEAST know how to turn the damn stove on and off! I'm not just talkin' about girls (I say girls because I refuse to call them women even though they are considered that by age) who are in their 20's. Girls in their 40's or older as well. It pisses me off that a dude would stay with a girl or even CHASE one of this nature. I mean, is pussy THAT powerful? I rather be with a chick who thinks with her HEAD as oppose to thinkin' with her tits. I'm interested in her mind as WELL as her body. If that way, if she don't have the body, she can at LEAST have the mind. I'll walk with an "ugly" smart girl over a sexy ass airhead any day.
I'm askin' every dude to change your credentials for a the girls you date. Make sure that they at least have common sense if they don't have book sense. At the same time, don't date a girl who's too damn educated for her own good either. Don't date a girl who got rocks for a brain and a bangin' body but at the same time, don't date a girl who thinks she so damn smart that she'll use her degree to be as stuck up as a erected penis. OK? I'm done.
Jun 16, 2010
Alright. I've been gone for a minute but I'm back for a QUICK minute.
Now, I don't write this blog to be mean or insensitive...but if you take it that way, that's on YOU.
Have you ever noticed that when you have events that require somebody to read something that it's almost ALWAYS the ones who can't read that good or can't read at ALL that volunteer to do so? I've seen it many times at churches, parties, shows, etc...and quite frankly, I'm embarrassed for those people because they are in front of MANY people looking like a fool. I have to admit, though, I admire their bravery in putting themselves out there like that because I'm not one who's comfortable with speaking in front of people when I have to be SERIOUS most of the time. Never have been. BUT...the backwards thing is, I will get in front of folks and quote a movie line to get a laugh and will sing in front of almost ANYBODY when somebody snaps their fingers. Probably because I've been doing it for so long...but it's my own insecurities. Many years of hearing folks say I talk like a white boy (whatever the fuck THAT means) have taken it's toll on me and made me doubt myself. I'm growing outta that...SLOWLY.
Anyway, I think it's kind of embarrassing for folks to do that to themselves because you know how cruel people can be. They will laugh, point and maybe even BOO you. So, why put yourself through the torture? If somebody asks you, just say NO...like your were taught to do with drugs when you were a kid, ya dig? And maybe after your confidence level gets up or maybe after you take some public speaking classes, THEN...talk all you WANT.
Alright, I'm done rambling. Until the next blog, See you when I see you. *Throws up Deuces*
Jun 9, 2010
The term SELL OUT has been thrown around to certain folks who have "made it" for centuries. Hell, it's been thrown around to SOME of us who haven't made it but have come a long ways from what we used to be, myself included. Well, I never really WENT anywhere, so to speak, but I've had that label for most of my life, starting since elementary school. I remember talking to a friend of mine one day and I must've said a word that he didn't understand and told me "stop using those damn big words". Ironically, everybody knew what I was talking about but him. You can tell that he used to be one of those students who used to fall asleep in english class or he was the kind of person who didn't do the vocabulary homework your teacher used to assign to you in school.
I always used to hear growing up as a child "You talk different" or "You talk like a white boy". I never understood what that meant and I'll admit, it hurt me deeply. Remember, I was the kind of person who used to ALWAYS wanted people to like me or accept me but I had to learn the hard what that wouldn't always happen. I guess that's why I tell people to suck it up when they cry about not being accepted by a certain group because, really, ALL of us were outcasts at one time or another and we still are, if you're completely honest with yourself. It's all about how you handle it. You either make it work for you or let it break you. But anyway, I used to always get made fun of by the way I talked and the words I used. I still do, as a matter of fact, and that's PART of the reason why I hated public speaking in school as a child and I STILL do to this day, unless I'm cracking jokes. My family wasn't the HUXTABLES and, Lord KNOWS, we got some ghettoness in us from the beginning of time but we always prided ourselves on knowing how to act in certain atmospheres. Some may call it flakiness, some may call it two-faced, but believe me, it's helped me a HELL of a lot.
My family always talked to us like we were little people and if we had a question about what something meant, we were told "Look it up". That's the reason why most of us knew words at 8 years old that some 80 years old didn't know and that's why many of us have a hunger to always know more because it was instilled in is from an early age. There are a few exceptions but doesn't EVERY family have one? That obviously made certain folks intimidated by us, ESPECIALLY some other adults because they were like "How can a Lil child know all THIS stuff?". So, when you're around certain folks your age who don't have that same upbringing or that same knowledge that you have, it SCARES them because they don't know what the hell you're talking about. I don't say this to be vain but that's my reality. So, I used to dry to "Dumb it down" around certain folks. I catch myself doing it now, too. Not as much as I USED to because if they give me that look like "WTF did you just say?", I'll just say like my Mother used to tell me..."LOOK IT UP" or "READ A BOOK".
That's PART of my experiences but the other part would be acting "too old". That kind of speaks for itself. To this day, I get called a 80-year-old 20-something year old. I'm telling you, I can be in a room full of senior citizens and understand them better than I do those from my generation. See, society has this image of those of us who are "poor" that we don't know how to speak properly or act properly, so when one of us doesn't fit the stereotype, it scares them. Of course, you have those who try to make it seem like somethings wrong with YOU because their perception of a "normal" person isn't something that you act out. So, you have many directions that you're being pulled in and many roads you have to choose from. Do I choose THIS one to be accepted by THEM or THEM? If you're like me, you've just reached a point where you say "FUCK ALL Y'ALL!!" and do your own thing. If that makes you a sell out, then you'll gladly wear the label.
So, if you've made it through the last 4 paragraphs in one piece, I just wanna ask you THIS question: What is YOUR definition of a Sell Out? I know you all have some good ones for me. Don't be shy. LET IT OUT!