Aug 31, 2009
Aug 28, 2009
Aug 26, 2009
Ladies and Gentlemen,
I understand that we are human, although sometimes I wonder about that. We all things that we do as humans that are natural. We all eat, sleep, laugh, cry and hurt. We also all fart. Yes, it's true. I mean, you gotta let it out, right? But what bothers me about the farting thing is that there are some people who believe that their farts don't stink. I had this argument (Yes, ARGUMENT, not debate) with a friend of mine not to long ago. The Niggrum farted and then when somebody said it stank, he said "My Farts don't stink". *Blank Stare*. MUTHAFUCKA, IS YOU SNIFFIN' GLUE?! If it came outta where I think it did, THAT SHIT STANKS!!! And his ass just got finished eating some spicy KFC chinken, too? You KNOW he lit that shit up. Thank GOD we was outside. The Nerve of some folks, I swear to you. And that fool actually got MAD that we suggested that the remnant's of his butt trumpet wasn't pleasing to the noses of those around him.
As I said before, We're all human and we all do things as humans and farting is one of them..but if you actually think for a minute that a fart don't stink, something is seriously sick with you. Then again, some folks get off on that shit (No pun intended). If folks like to watch 2 girls shit in a cup and eat it, like watching folks piss and brush their teeth, they'll love a fart. I don't know how they do it. Shit, my OWN damn farts ain't pleasin' to ME and it comes out MY ass. MANY a times I done woke myself outta a deep sleep. I guess people think they're special. *Shrugging shoulders*. Whatever.
Aug 24, 2009
I think the main reason why I laughed was because of the cheesy dialogue. If you ever really paid attention to the shit they say in porno’s, that shit is so fuckin’ cheesy that it’s funny. I mean, while you getting some ass, do you actually talk as long as they do?! Not me. Just drop your drawls and get to it!! Fuck talkin’!! Another thing, the moans. OH GOD!! The moans they moan are just as exaggerated and stage as all HELL!!!! Maybe it’s just me..but I like a movies with good acting, porno’s included. Maybe if they got some better actors for some of them, I’d appreciate them more. I think I can appreciate a sex scene from a movie with a Hollywood actor than a porn star. Not saying that some porn stars don’t give Oscar winning performances because some of them DAMN sure do, but most of them can’t act for shit. It’s kinda like when you go see a movie and the actor is trying so hard to be serious, but they are failing SO miserably that it’s funny. That’s what I see in porno’s.
Aug 19, 2009
I often see people get uncomfortable when folks talk about forgiveness...and I've seen it happen with the very FEW times that I've blogged about it or made reference to it in some comment sections while on the Internet. I think I figured out why that is. Folks often link forgiveness with being Weak or Stupid.
For example: If somebody did SOMETHING (anything you can think of) that hurt you...DEEPLY, and they apologize to you and ask of your forgiveness, folks think that to forgive means that you just act like nothings happened and you're old friends, lovers or WHATEVER once again, thus giving the other person another chance to to the same thing again.
It's actually quite the contrary. By forgiving someone, you are actually not giving them the power to make you a bitter, angry individual and you no longer hold a grudge against them. Holding grudges kinda makes you a mean ass person and it makes you hard to trust anybody because of what ONE (or possibly a few other) person(s) did to you. So, you'll walk around life thinking everybody is out to get you and it makes folks not wanna be around you and you're gonna die lonely, bitter and unhappy. Nobody wants to die lonely, I don't think. So, by forgiving someone, you're nixing that in the bud.
With that being said, that does NOT mean that you have to socialize with that person or acknowledge the existence again. Sure, you've forgiven them but that don't mean you gotta be a damn FOOL. You're supposed to get smarter with each situation that you go through because, believe it or not, shit happens for a reason....and sometimes shit just HAPPENS. But still, it HAPPENED. Forgive, forget, MOVE ON. It's gonna take a minute but you CAN. The thing is, some folks (Including some of you READING this) don't wanna move on because it's kinda comfortable feeling this feeling of resentment, right? If you wanna be honest, SOME of the things you mad at other folks about, YOU played a part in it. Get mad at me all you want to but SOMEBODY has to say it. Accept YOUR part in it, forgive THEM for theirs, even if you cut all ties with them, and it'll be over. Quite honestly, it's very reliving and refreshing because you no longer feel weighed down. That's why so many folks have nervous break downs.
It's kinda like that old saying "I can forgive but I can forget". You ain't SUPPOSED to forget it. You're just not supposed to keep dwelling on it and using it as an excuse to hate a certain species, sex or act like a Jackass 24/7. That's all.
With THAT being said, I hope you got it all RIGHT now.....and I'm SPENT.
Aug 13, 2009
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the shit that truly makes life worth living. Now, as much as I complain about such shows as Jerry Springer and Maury being nothing but the same shit, I STILL watch those shows religiously...well, whenever I can, because, dammit, I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE to laugh at the stupid ass people on there because they truly deserve it. What I think is the most stupidest thing they say on there when somebody laughs at them is that famous T.I quote YOU DON'T KNOW ME!! Hmmm.....Well, Did you NOT just tell us half your damn business on national T.V? I think we know a lil bit TOO much about you..more stuff than we ever NEEDED to know. But we just LOVE that kinda stuff because IT AIN'T US!! Let's be honest. You laugh @ that shit because you know that it ain't you, THANK GOD, because you'd probably say the same shit if you was to ever appear on T.V. Hopefully, some of y'all is smart enough to not EVER appear on no T.V show and tell all y'all business. Hell, it's bad enough that we do that shit when we blog!!!....but that's another blog in itself.
I really don't feel sorry for the ridicule that people face when they appear on talk shows at all. They knew good and damn well what the outcome could've been but yet, they don't care because they want their 5 minutes of fame. For real, tho, some of those people on those shows just downright LIE and they KNOW it. Case in point, this person right here:
There's plenty more memorable clips of similar shows...but that's the one I decided to choose for demonstration. Saves me a hell of a lot of searching to do. Now, That shit right there is just....Hell, I can't even think of a word for it. Now, I don't know the whole story behind that clip but, if I had to guess what was said it was probably "I HAD TO TAKE CARE OF THAT BABY BY MYSELF", "HE DON'T HELP ME", "SHE A HO", "SHE SLEPT WITH SO MANY DAMN MEN!! ANYBODY COULD BE THE FATHER!!". Hell, y'all get the point. All the usual shit said on Maury. I feel as though these chicks just KNOW in they heart that a certain dude ain't the father of the baby but they feel that if they wish hard enough and if they pray hard enough, God will answers their prayers and not make them look like fools, ESPECIALLY on T.V, and they dude they WANT to be the Daddy (or the dude they brought to the show) is the father. Well, sometimes that shit works, and sometimes it don't. Sometimes God be like "NOPE!! NOT TODAY!! ". What gets me is how these chicken heads be so SURE that the dude is the Daddy and then when it ain't, they wanna throw tantrums and shit. YOU SHOULDA THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE THE DICK THREW UP IN THE PUSSY HOLE!! Now, that kids gonna be embarrassed when they grow up because the whole world know they Mama is a Ho. It's a damn shame, really. One guy even asked Maury could he frame the results after he found out he wasn't the Daddy. LMAOO!!
Let's not forget the chicks like this:
That shit HAS to be embarrassing to be on that show more than 5 times (in THAT chicks case, 11 times) and don't know who the baby daddy is. Now, THEM chicks like that just give women a bad name in general. I just got some words of wisdom for you: If you MUST get a paternity test more than once for several men...Hell, even if you gotta get it ONCE, don't ever...EVER...EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVEEER!!!!!....do that shit on T.V. Ok? I'm finished.
Aug 12, 2009
Aug 11, 2009
So, earlier today, I was walking to the store. I had my "around the way" clothes on and my hair wasn't brushed. I've been SERIOUSLY considering going bald because the shit is less expensive. I don't have the patience to learn how to cut my own hair and I don't wanna fuck no shit up. So, I'll just leave it to the professionals...but shaving my own head? I can do that. Anyway, I was walking home from the store and went through the alley way to get to my house. Well, there are really 2 ways to get there but the alley way is just shorter and you're less likely to run into fucktards you don't wanna see back there, unless they're the potheads, which I'm cool with because most of us grew up together. So, I'm going home and there's this old ass man and his lady friend (who looked like DEATH because she's been suckin' on the glass dick) who was walking in my direction. I saw the way they were looking at me, so I put my hand on my razor in my pocket in case some shit popped off. So, They get close to me and the woman said "YO, I AIN'T FROM AROUND HERE AND I WAS WONDERING WHERE I COULD GET SOME WEED AT!". I just said that "Naw, I don't know nobody. Sorry". That's a damn lie because half the folks I know around here smoke weed and some even SELL the shit...but I ain't gonna tell THEM that. They were highly pissed about that because they were feignin' for some but they just said "It's cool, Good lookin' out".
Now, this isn't the first time this shit has happened to me. One time it happened to me when I was just coming home from church, Bible in hand and all. I was walking to the bus stop and again, somebody said those EXACT words. I told my Mom about that and she was like "Stupid asses, how they know you wasn't a cop? Why got to an unfamiliar part of the city without your own weed anyway?". Now, today, I told my stepfather what happened when he came home and he said "Hell, the way you was dressed, they probably thought you was a damn dope boy". My Hair and the wiskers on my face probably ain't help, either. Lawd, Today. These folks in Philly, man.
Aug 6, 2009
I've had this revelation since I was a kid, but it seems as though parents are SCARED to talk to their Children about sex, so they just make up crazy shit as to why they shouldn't do it. Don't know what I'm talking about? Here's some examples:
1. If you have sex (before marriage..although, some will say if you do it ANYTIME), your dick or coochie (or both, if you have one) is gonna fall off.
2. Oral sex gives you cancer
3. Kissing will get you pregnant.
And last but not least: I was told by my Homie (named not to be revaled for Privacy reason) said that her mother told her brother that pussy had teeth in it and it would chew his dick off if he had sex.
Now, that bullshit up there and MANY other bullshit myths are SUPPOSED to SCARE children into not having sex but, in SOME cases, it makes them the biggest hoes on the PLANET because they wanna see if this shit was true. Hell, you know kids wanna learn shit the hard way. Then, there are the parents who thing "If I don't say shit about sex, s/he won't know about and s/he won't do it". Now, THAT one is bullshit to the highest level of bullshitity. Hell, I knew about sex at age 9 and I was schooled by my "Big Brothers"...and shortly after that, my Mama. They told me EVERYTHING (Mama's information was more accurate, though). So, you only imagine the age that kids now find out about this. Hell, you'll find a 5 year old who knows more about Doggy Style, Cunnilingus, analingus, and Fellatio than some 60 year olds. So, it's best to just CUT the bullshit and tell em' the gotdamn TRUTH.
I'm not suggesting you tell a 2 year old "You stick your ding-ding in the na-na and hump but remember to put on a mini-magnum". Do it in a way they'll understand but don't it TRUTHFULLY. With all these damn walking STD's out here, we ain't got time to be bullshittin'.