Aug 19, 2009
I said FORGIVE...not be STUPID!
I often see people get uncomfortable when folks talk about forgiveness...and I've seen it happen with the very FEW times that I've blogged about it or made reference to it in some comment sections while on the Internet. I think I figured out why that is. Folks often link forgiveness with being Weak or Stupid.
For example: If somebody did SOMETHING (anything you can think of) that hurt you...DEEPLY, and they apologize to you and ask of your forgiveness, folks think that to forgive means that you just act like nothings happened and you're old friends, lovers or WHATEVER once again, thus giving the other person another chance to to the same thing again.
It's actually quite the contrary. By forgiving someone, you are actually not giving them the power to make you a bitter, angry individual and you no longer hold a grudge against them. Holding grudges kinda makes you a mean ass person and it makes you hard to trust anybody because of what ONE (or possibly a few other) person(s) did to you. So, you'll walk around life thinking everybody is out to get you and it makes folks not wanna be around you and you're gonna die lonely, bitter and unhappy. Nobody wants to die lonely, I don't think. So, by forgiving someone, you're nixing that in the bud.
With that being said, that does NOT mean that you have to socialize with that person or acknowledge the existence again. Sure, you've forgiven them but that don't mean you gotta be a damn FOOL. You're supposed to get smarter with each situation that you go through because, believe it or not, shit happens for a reason....and sometimes shit just HAPPENS. But still, it HAPPENED. Forgive, forget, MOVE ON. It's gonna take a minute but you CAN. The thing is, some folks (Including some of you READING this) don't wanna move on because it's kinda comfortable feeling this feeling of resentment, right? If you wanna be honest, SOME of the things you mad at other folks about, YOU played a part in it. Get mad at me all you want to but SOMEBODY has to say it. Accept YOUR part in it, forgive THEM for theirs, even if you cut all ties with them, and it'll be over. Quite honestly, it's very reliving and refreshing because you no longer feel weighed down. That's why so many folks have nervous break downs.
It's kinda like that old saying "I can forgive but I can forget". You ain't SUPPOSED to forget it. You're just not supposed to keep dwelling on it and using it as an excuse to hate a certain species, sex or act like a Jackass 24/7. That's all.
With THAT being said, I hope you got it all RIGHT now.....and I'm SPENT.