Aug 28, 2009

Skinty Ass Niggum Confessions

One of the biggest misconceptions about skinny people is that we don’t eat. I can’t tell you how many times in my life that I’ve gotten asked by muthufuckas did I starve myself, was I anorexic, or did I eat. Hell, I’ve recently got asked was I “Cracking up”. I’m gonna disclose some of those rumors now, being ass those some of y’all stupid asses actually believe that shit, too. Every skinny person does NOT starve themselves, you stupid basitd!! I would actually like to know where that shit came from. While not eating may CONTRIBUTE to our lack of blubber, it’s not the SOLE purpose. Ironically, the people who would asked me those ignorant questions actually were 2 hamburgers away from obesity themselves. That’s when I coined my famous comeback “No, I don’t eat because you eat enough for both of us, you fat fuck!!”. Just like fat people got a bad rap for eating TOO much, we got one for not eating enough. I’ll admit as soon as I take my shirt off, you can damn near see every bone and vein in my body. Doctors never had a problem finding veins with my ass because them shits would just pop up outta know where, even now. But my skinniness is not dude to lack off food. Believe me, I eat my fair share. I actually get hated on by fat people, most of them my closest friends. It seems for some reason, they have a problem with the fact that I can eat all they can eat and MORE without gaining a pound while they gain 20 pounds just by chewing gum. IT’S CALLED HIGH METABOLISM, BITCH!!!…or, in my case, as the case with many others, being blessed. For the longest time, I was insecure about my weight and I’d try to eat as much as I could to gain like 100 pounds, but then one day, I got into an argument with this fat dude, he pissed me off, and I hit him (which was a shocker because I hardly EVER threw the first blow in a fight). I started running and, I’ll admit, his fat ass was gaining on me, but then I dogged his ass through some cars. He never caught me because his fat ass had to catch his breath. That was the day I started celebrating my skinniness….and I’ve been doing it ever since. Just like fat people celebrate they “Baby Fat” (When really, it’s just fat, baby), I celebrate my lack of it, and there are plenty of people right along with me who do the same shit. Besides, I make up for the lack of fatness in my waist in another area. Some other bullshit I‘ve heard fat girls (Excuse me, BBW‘s) say is that they’ll never date or fuck a skinny man for the fear of them breaking us in half. Trust me, Skinny dudes can do some shit that a dude with fat or muscle CAN‘T do. I won‘t say what because that‘s another blog, but trust me, we‘ll leave you satisfied. I will be glad when we as a people get over this bullshit about having to be a certain belt size to be attractive. I say this to big people, too, you don’t HAVE to be my size to be good looking. You can look better than I do the size you are.

And I'm Spent.