Sep 29, 2009

Potty Mouth Heffas.

Saturday when I began my long weekend of running around, I happened to be on the Subway going to my destination. I never leave the house without my iPod and I make sure it's fully charged when I leave. That morning, I had to do it before I left, which didn't take long. Anyway, I could hear these 2 loud ass ghetto women talking over my music (I REALLY need to invest in some new headphones. The ones I have are SHIT). Don't ask me HOW they got to this conversation about the bathroom but one of them was talking about how easy men have it to go to the bathroom and how she wishes women could stand up and pee like men.

*Record Scratch*

Now, I know such conversations take place amongst women but does it have to be in a public setting like this? There's more to the conversation about this mess but I refuse to relive the horrible moments of it. By the time they got to the more graphic details of what they would do if they could stand up to piss, my iPod froze on me and it seemed like an eternity to unfreeze. So, finally, my iPod is back but I couldn't find a song loud enough to drown them out to save my life and I heard more of this fucktation than I would have LIKED to. If I had my guess, these are the ones who probably complain about not finding a REAL man missing the Memo, if they even GOT it, that you attract what you put out.

I guess they missed the Memo that there are just SOME shit that you should NOT talk about IN PUBLIC. Hell, I've had conversations about some CRAZY shit with my homeboys and homegirls but we have the RESPECT for other folks to have them amongst ourselves between 4 walls, doors or whatever the fuck else. People just talk about any and every damn thing in public and think this shit is CUTE. I swear, I done gave them a few of them *Blank Stare* looks, along with other folks, but they were so into the conversation that they ain't see it. I was just waitin' on God to reach down and smack every dimension of hell outta them and some common sense into their thick skulls. The Power of Ignorance and Ghettoness is a serious sickness within our communities, just like Fucktation, Bitchassness and Hateration. It seems as thought it's getting worse as the days go by.

Sep 21, 2009

Give A Punk Bitch A Badge.

This has been on my heart for a minute now. May 2009, I had a situation with me loosing my wallet that had some important information in it and my bank account along with my mothers getting wiped out by some "unknown" person. I had to make a police report about it and lemme tell you, I have never felt so insulted in my LIFE. I won't go into the details because I'll just get pissed off more about it but needless to say, I got treated like some kinda lyin' negro. Oh, and the cop was some beige heffa. I got first hand people don't like to call the cops because the way some of them treat folks is just OFF THE WALL. I understand that their job is hard. Hell, you can't turn on the news nowadays without some story of a cop getting shot in the ass and their lives being taken. I take my hat off to them for doing one of the hardest jobs in the world, other than being a Parent and a teacher in the school system. But DAMN!!

You kinda get the feeling that most of these cops are folks who've been bullied in school and they've never really gotten over it. So, they get a badge and a Lil bit of power and they just go the fuck crazy with it. Some of them are trigger happy and on a power trip. It's really discouraging, to say the least, because these are the people who are supposed to serve and protect us as citizens and it's like some of them do a half ass job because of some bitter feelings about some situation that happened to them. The woman cops are some man hatting mofo's and the men are just punk bitches hiding behind a gun and a taser. Lemme just say that I'm not generalizing all cops because there are some DAMNED good ones but it just seems like they are few and far between. I don't get it and I don't think I WANNA get it..but I can honestly see why so many folks take the law into their own hands. It's not a SMART thing to do but I see why they do it. Less bullshit they gotta deal with from the Boys and Girls in blue.

Rambling done.

Sep 11, 2009

Funeral Fucktation

In my 23 years of Living, I've been to many funerals. I've had to sing at most of them and some of them were family members or friends. For the most part, they were the usual funeral. Folks cryin', snottin', fallin' out and actin' a fool. Usually the ones overcome with so much grief were those who were assholes to the deceased person and their guilt got the best of them at the funeral but I digress. I have to say, tho, that in almost every funeral that I've attended, the fucktation was only with the people there and not the funeral itself. That's why when I see such pictures of funerals that have shit like THIS

I automatically get this uneasy feeling and then I get pissed at the ghettofication. I don't understand it. I mean, I know we was born and raised in the hoodest of the hoods in our own little sections but dammit, why we gotta ACT like it, ESPECIALLY at such an occasion as a funeral? There's a time and a place for ghettofication and a funeral ain't one of them. Sometimes, the funeral services that I've HEARD about just take that big giant step over the line of being Ghetto to just being PURE fucktation. sometimes, they're in the middle of and they're just WEIRD. Just like the Puerto Rican dude who requested to be kept upright at his wake a year ago. THAT shit, while I'm sure it's not that rare that it happens, would just give me the heebie Jeebies. And it was in his Mother's home, too? Can you imagine one of those late nights when you go into the kitchen for a late night snack and you see a corpse in the corner chillin' like "What's up, My Nigga?!". I'd be NO more good. I'd probably get used to it but I won't ever know because it won't happen in MY house.

Now, the Fucktation that I bring to you in this video below is beyond anything that I've seen in my life. Now, I'm sure somebody has DONE this before but I've never heard of it happening, unless it was a murder victim in those old Gangsta movies. Observe.

Now, I'm ASSUMING that it was requested by this man to be buried in his car as his last wish and I'm all for respecting the requests of the dead...but can somebody tell me since WHEN do you need to have a car to go to Heaven or Hell? I thought the Death Angel already had some transportation prepared for you when you take your last breath. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm right. Either way, I hope that car has PLENTY of mileage on it because it's a long ways. I've already spoken about to my Mother numerous times about her final request and all that and I'm gonna do my DAMNDEST to make sure all her requests are brought to light. She's already made it clear on paper that I shall be handling everything because her Husband would be an absolute mess. I'd have to kill him...but if it's too much damn money, she's gonna cremated..WIZZY Style. Gasoline and some matches out in the back of my house. Hell, I have the final say, right? She's DEAD. What does she know? I mean, I haven't really laid out plans for My transition yet. I don't really HAVE em'. I just ask that whoever is doing it send me off with a PARTY. No all that sad shit. I also hope whoever does it that it's done TASTEFULLY. Don't be burryin' me naked in cowboy boats and in no damn coffin that looks like a condom and shit like that. You know how creative muthafucka's can get. But hey, it's the Ghettoness in em'. Gotta love em'.

Sep 10, 2009

Bling for the Kitty Kat.

For as long as I can remember, there has been a long standing tradition to bling your Vagina or you penis. You gave the folks who get them pierced and dye the hairs surrounding them. Me personally, I've never considered doing it (often) but, hey, whatever floats your boat, right? Hell, they even bling out the SEX toys and CONDOMS now. Never thought I'd live to see the day THAT shit would happen. Well, I DID but I just didn't think it'd be so soon. Now, even with all of THAT, they still managed to come up with THIS:

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen. Introducing CLITTER, glitter for your vagina. It's supposed to make it more appealing to the eyes if your vagina looks like it'll detached and swallow a human whole or if it has some type of "defects". Why not fix it with some CLITTER? This should be a best seller if this EVER hits shelves anytime soon.

Sep 4, 2009

Shit Outta Luck.

After A GOOD ass box of Pizza, I goes to the bathroom..and when I finished, I see that there's no more damn toilet paper. I don't know WHO used it and nobody will care to admit to being the culprit. There are 3 of us in this house and nobody has the common DECENCY to change the Lil brown thing that's on the toilet paper rack. I mean, It's not exactly rocket Science, right? No toilet paper, find a roll of it (there are PLENTY because we stock them by the 12 pack in this house) and CHANGE it. I guess that's too much to ask, right? *SMDH*.

Sep 3, 2009

A Different World indeed.

Good Day, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Internet.

It seems as though I see some of the most craziest things when I walk the streets of Philadelphia. But I'm sure that the craziest things don't happen just in Philly. It happens everywhere. All you have to do is read the news for that. Today, though, I just had to share my craziness that I saw with all of you.

As I was waiting for the bus, iPod in hand and in ears, I was just watching the passers by and waiting for the bus to arrive. The Bus arrives, I pay my fair, take my seat. A couple stops after me, This guy gets on the bus with his sunglasses on. I just happened to look over, he pulls out his cell phone and he flips up his glasses to see the number. The only thing was, he didn't flip the SET over his head. That's right, Ladies and Gentlemen. He was wearing a pair of THESE.

Now, the last time I've seen a pair of those was on an episode of "A Different World". I remember the years when I owned a pair of those in my younger years. I lost them at the circus but you couldn't TELL me I wasn't stylin'. Come to think of it, I think that's WHY folks used to call me Dwayne Wayne shit we share the first name. *SMDH*. But I NEVER thought I'd see a pair of these in the year 2009. I guess old styles really IS comin' back.

Sep 1, 2009

You Sexy as Fuck. GET OVER IT!

There seems to be a popular misconception of men that I'd HOPE to put to rest. Hell, there are MANY that both sexes have about each other but, due to time and limited blogging space (and the fact that most of y'alls asses get tired after reading a paragraph and a half), I'll try not to get into all of them. There are so many, I doubt that I will anyway.

I'll just get to the most popular one. See this dude right here?

big ass titties Pictures, Images and Photos

That's most men when we see a set a titties that we either like or that are just huge in a delicious way. Let's be honest, if you have a dick, chances are, you will be attracted to Titties and ass. So, what's the big deal with a woman getting MAD at a dude who stares at them? I always hear about women complaining about how they'd WISH men would look at her in her FACE and not her titties when they have a conversation. It's a popular misconception that if men only focus on a woman's body in a conversation, that's all we'd want you for if a woman was to give us a chance at letting us in her world. Well...have you ever considered the fact that you might have a dreamboat body and a ship wrecked face? Well, in SOME instances, that's not the case, but in a LOT that is the case. Anyway, I'm just gonna be honest with ya, Ladies. If you have some nice titties and a nice ass, and if I EVER see any of you in the street, I'm gonna look...HARD (But with me, you won't know I'm looking because I'm slick wit it). I'll stare at em' until my fuckin' eye balls fall out. It's no different than a woman talking to a dude with muscles and day dreaming about him being naked. Now, Ladies, I see many of your "Nigga please" faces a mile away. Now, you can't TELL me if this dude walked up to you in the street and started talking to you


you'd listen...much. SEE? SOME OF Y'ALL AIN'T EVEN MAKE IT PAST THOSE PICTURES WITHOUT HAVING TO WIPE OFF YOUR SCREEN!! Some of y'all got that "NOT ME" look on y'alls faces and lemme just say...Y'ALLS LYIN'!!! TELL THE TRUTH AND SHAME THE DEVIL!!

Now, I CAN understand where you're coming from because some dudes just go too damn far. Hell, they'll drool over them shits in mid-conversation and it's not professional and it makes you look LOONY...kinda like SOME of y'all females would do over....HIM, perhaps?

LL COOL J Pictures, Images and Photos

There's a certain slickness you gotta have, as stated before. Hell, I can have a whole conversation with you and look at some titties and you'd NEVER know it. How, you might ask? That's for me to know and you to die trying to figure out. Anyway, just know this. Lust and horniness are embedded into the human DNA and will BE there until we're all extinct. Some just have extra freshness and they can't control it. Some CAN but they just don't WANT to. But why get mad? TAKE IT AS A COMPLIMENT!! THEY THINK YOU SEXY!! Hell, you don't hear no dudes complainin about females having conversations with our dicks. GET OVER IT!! PUT ON YO' BIG GIRL PANTIES (If you WEAR panties) and SUCK IT UP!

and I'm tide.

chick with huge breasts Pictures, Images and Photos