Nov 27, 2010

Headphones = Leave me the Fuck alone!

Salutations, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Internet.

I blog before you hoping that your Holiday was a blessed one and that it was wonderfully spent. I also blog before you to get something off my chest that has been bothering me for years now and to see if I'm the only one who feels this way. Now, it seems that folks have not gotten the memo that a person with headphones on minding their own business is not to be disturbed by anyone or they suffer dire consequences of "Cussyoassout". Either they didn't get the memo or they just don't give a damn and they're being the ignorant. Either way, I HATE it, I despise it, and loathe that shit with a passion. Those of you who know me know that I NEVER leave my house without my iPod. I purposefully buy certain types of headphones that I KNOW will block out folks and their Fucktational doings outside in the street. Hell, I get em' so I can block it out in the house, too, but that's another story. Seriously, though, it goes through me like stewed prunes when I'm on a Musical Journey in my head with me, my imagination, the song of the moment and my headphones to be disturbed by folks and their bullshit. I'll forgive it if it's a life threatening emergency but if it AIN'T, I wish you'd have the decency to leave me the fuck alone until I'm done, whenever THAT is. Write it down, take a picture if you have to remember whatever it is you want, I really don't care but BACK THE FUCK UP.

I don't like that shit when I'm watching T.V, either. If I'm deep into a show, don't come in the room talkin' to me (or anybody else) for that matter all loud and shit. Now, usually, I'll just block you out. I've mastered the art of selective hearing as a child when I'm either deep in though, deep into my Music or deep into a Show on T.V. and I still practice it to this day. It's gotten me slapped a few times, too, by my Mother and a few others but shit, I can't help it. Now, some days are harder than others and I'll tell you, if I CAN, in anyway possible to either shut that bullshit up or go somewhere else where you won't disturb ME. It's very ignorant, rude and disrespectful. Let somebody do that to THEIR dumb asses and they'll have a whole lot of shit to say. Hell, some of Y'ALL might do this same shit to people, too. I'm asking you to STOP that shit. For real. In the Words of my Mother "If you or anybody else ain't dyin', don't call me for SHIT". And I MEAN that. Failure to take heed of those directions will get met with a few Choice cuss words (some you've heard of and some you haven't) and/or the "No the fuck you didn't" look. Get it together, people!!

Adieu!

Oct 1, 2010

Kicking The door in. (Warning: This post will be long as HELL!)

Whut It Dew Pictures, Images and Photos
Salutations to all of you in the blogging community.

It's been a while since I've posted over here. It's really not because I haven't had anything to say. Those of you who follow me on Twitter know I have PLENTY of things to say and plenty of fucktation to post on the daily. It's really because I was just being Lazy or lack of time. Also, I really think I've lost my touch. Y'all know I don't really partake in the latest Gossip on Celebrities (often) or things of that nature. I leave that up to my blogging counterparts. I really felt as thought nobody would be interested in what I'd have to say if it didn't contribute to that. I've missed the blogging forum because it was like therapy for me. Things I've wanted to get off my chest, I did it through a blog. Things I wanted to say that made folks laugh, I did it in a blog. It's gotten me in trouble with some people who've read them but hey, it just wouldn't be a day if I didn't piss somebody off. Can't please everybody, right? I plan to get back to this place a lot more often now because I've found my passion again. The usual shit will go on: some of what I say will make you laugh, some will make you cry, some will make you mad, and some will make you say WTF?! like usual. A lot's been going on with me and I feel the need to just get it out in the best way that I know how.

So, what's been up with me? Here we go.
I've still been working Temp Jobs a lot here and there and it seems as though when I completely ran outta money, one came right on time. Nobody but God gets the credit for that. At the Moment, I'm unemployed AGAIN because I got fired. It was because I got snitched on by one of the bosses pets. Those who've worked with me know all about it and how it went down. Even my OTHER boss knew. I won't go into the details of it because I'll get more pissed off about it about but it is what it is. I got in from work and I got the call no more than 2 minutes after I sat down that I was being let go. I still had a smile on my face the whole time I was getting "Laid out". Yeah, it pissed me off but I'm like something better is coming my way.

Another thing that happened to me was that I've been appointed as the "Assistant" Minister of Music at my Church a year ago. Not getting paid for it but I still love it..most days. We got a new head Minster of Music that saw me the Sunday before he started (He started October 2009) and he liked what he saw, as did my Pastor and the rest is History. It was all well and good with the Choir Members, also, as long as I did what they wanted. See, you have to understand that I'm the youngest Member and have been since I first started with them at the age of 14. Even then, I could feel some of the "Tension" with them because...well..a young person ain't supposed to have as much knowledge as them, especially when they've been doing this before I was even thought of. So imagine little old me trying to teach folks how to sing who date back to the days in church before they even had instruments and who sang with my Great-Grandmother and remember my Grandfather as a child, let alone my Mother, her cousins and THEIR children, me included, since we popped out the womb. Many of them are respectful and supportive but there are a few who try me. I've lost it in a few rehearsals and even on Sunday Mornings and a few times Minster of Music has had to set them straight on how to deal with me. Don't think I haven't been set straight a few times. I understand why, tho: they're old traditional petty folks and they're still salty about the absence of our Former Minister of Music, so they're trying to hold onto their glory days. They thought with my "addition", I'd keep the ways of Old going and when they found out I WASN'T (for the most part), it ruffled some feathers. Add to the fact that I don't play an instrument and can't read music (YET...at least no anymore). So, YUP. It's a challenge but as my Supporters on the choir say, as well as Minister of Music and my family, "Don't worry about them because they're mad they can't do what YOU do". Wonderful advice, although some days are harder than others. I even tried to quit a few times but you know (some) of the powers that be weren't having it. So, all I'ma ask of you is PRAY! Just PRAY.

Other than that, I'm still me and still doing me. I'm also more happier and more confident in myself from some other past issues that I've finally dealt with. Personal issues that I won't get into..but I'm fine. Nothing more to say.

Until the next post, Adieu!

Jul 17, 2010

Something Stinks.

Tell me why do people find the need to try to take care of everybody else shit but their own? It's CRAZY man. It's funny because the same people who try to school you on certain aspects are fucked up in that VERY same thing. Don't know what the hell I'm talkin' bout? Let me give you some examples:

1. they'll tell you how to treat your spouse or you significant other, but they ain't had orgasm since Jesus was born...and all the people THEY dated cheated on them.

2. They'll tell you how to discipline your kids but they kids acting like Monsters.

3. They'll tell you how to clean your house and your clothes, but they shit look like they just came outta dogs ass.

Feel me? I knew you would.

These are the kindsa people that you should REALLY watch out for because they mean you no good. They have all the answers to YOUR problems but their problems have YET to be solved. Something is very wrong there. Personally, I choose to take advice from people who have been there, done that, wore the T-shirt, wrote the bestseller and got lifetime achievement award. Do you really want somebody who hasn't been through what YOU are going through to give you advice on how to get through it? This sounds so damn hypocritical on my part because I've written so many blogs on here giving people advice (and telling people offline the same shit) and I haven't been in MANY of your conditions.....but I OBSERVE!! I'll tell you what I've SEEN works, even if it may not happen to me. Trust me, I care about all of y'alls well being as much as I do with my people offline. Y'all educate me , So I try to do the same thing. Whatever I learn from others, I spread that same knowledge to everybody that I can. With that being said, Let me educate you some more:

BE CAREFUL WHO YOU LISTEN TO!!!!

Just as you should be careful what you tell people, you should be careful of what you listen to when others tell you shit. Some of it's bullshit, quite frankly, and I know that with some of you, the last thing you need is bullshit. So, don't listen to the bullshiter. Other other hand, DO listen to the bullshiter, because they are some good teachers, too. It's funny but as I was typing this, I came to the conclusion that I keep at least ONE of those bullshiters around because they teach me more shit than NON-Bullshitters. Take heed of what I've previously typed before, but tell those people that you have in your life that are bullshiters Thank you for teaching you more than you can EVER learn from a non-bullshitter. K?

Done!

Jul 7, 2010

Air Heads.


Curse the dude who thought that dating a stupid girl was the cool thing to do!! I'm seeing it more and more each day. It's really crazy and disturbing, to say the least. When did it become popular for a dude to start dating stupid girls? When did it become popular for a girl to be stupid? I mean, for real, there are some girl who are just......well...they are fuckin' AIRHEADS! You have to wonder how some of them operate because it doesn't seem like they have a brain. Some dudes are this way, too. I mean, you stupid for wantin' a girl that don't know how to do shit like, Balance a checkbook, clean a house, and at LEAST know how to turn the damn stove on and off! I'm not just talkin' about girls (I say girls because I refuse to call them women even though they are considered that by age) who are in their 20's. Girls in their 40's or older as well. It pisses me off that a dude would stay with a girl or even CHASE one of this nature. I mean, is pussy THAT powerful? I rather be with a chick who thinks with her HEAD as oppose to thinkin' with her tits. I'm interested in her mind as WELL as her body. If that way, if she don't have the body, she can at LEAST have the mind. I'll walk with an "ugly" smart girl over a sexy ass airhead any day.

I'm askin' every dude to change your credentials for a the girls you date. Make sure that they at least have common sense if they don't have book sense. At the same time, don't date a girl who's too damn educated for her own good either. Don't date a girl who got rocks for a brain and a bangin' body but at the same time, don't date a girl who thinks she so damn smart that she'll use her degree to be as stuck up as a erected penis. OK? I'm done.



Jun 16, 2010

Just Say No.


Alright. I've been gone for a minute but I'm back for a QUICK minute.

Now, I don't write this blog to be mean or insensitive...but if you take it that way, that's on YOU.

Have you ever noticed that when you have events that require somebody to read something that it's almost ALWAYS the ones who can't read that good or can't read at ALL that volunteer to do so? I've seen it many times at churches, parties, shows, etc...and quite frankly, I'm embarrassed for those people because they are in front of MANY people looking like a fool. I have to admit, though, I admire their bravery in putting themselves out there like that because I'm not one who's comfortable with speaking in front of people when I have to be SERIOUS most of the time. Never have been. BUT...the backwards thing is, I will get in front of folks and quote a movie line to get a laugh and will sing in front of almost ANYBODY when somebody snaps their fingers. Probably because I've been doing it for so long...but it's my own insecurities. Many years of hearing folks say I talk like a white boy (whatever the fuck THAT means) have taken it's toll on me and made me doubt myself. I'm growing outta that...SLOWLY.

Anyway, I think it's kind of embarrassing for folks to do that to themselves because you know how cruel people can be. They will laugh, point and maybe even BOO you. So, why put yourself through the torture? If somebody asks you, just say NO...like your were taught to do with drugs when you were a kid, ya dig? And maybe after your confidence level gets up or maybe after you take some public speaking classes, THEN...talk all you WANT.

Alright, I'm done rambling. Until the next blog, See you when I see you. *Throws up Deuces*

Jun 9, 2010

DUMB IT DOWN, YOU SELL OUT!


The term SELL OUT has been thrown around to certain folks who have "made it" for centuries. Hell, it's been thrown around to SOME of us who haven't made it but have come a long ways from what we used to be, myself included. Well, I never really WENT anywhere, so to speak, but I've had that label for most of my life, starting since elementary school. I remember talking to a friend of mine one day and I must've said a word that he didn't understand and told me "stop using those damn big words". Ironically, everybody knew what I was talking about but him. You can tell that he used to be one of those students who used to fall asleep in english class or he was the kind of person who didn't do the vocabulary homework your teacher used to assign to you in school.



I always used to hear growing up as a child "You talk different" or "You talk like a white boy". I never understood what that meant and I'll admit, it hurt me deeply. Remember, I was the kind of person who used to ALWAYS wanted people to like me or accept me but I had to learn the hard what that wouldn't always happen. I guess that's why I tell people to suck it up when they cry about not being accepted by a certain group because, really, ALL of us were outcasts at one time or another and we still are, if you're completely honest with yourself. It's all about how you handle it. You either make it work for you or let it break you. But anyway, I used to always get made fun of by the way I talked and the words I used. I still do, as a matter of fact, and that's PART of the reason why I hated public speaking in school as a child and I STILL do to this day, unless I'm cracking jokes. My family wasn't the HUXTABLES and, Lord KNOWS, we got some ghettoness in us from the beginning of time but we always prided ourselves on knowing how to act in certain atmospheres. Some may call it flakiness, some may call it two-faced, but believe me, it's helped me a HELL of a lot.



My family always talked to us like we were little people and if we had a question about what something meant, we were told "Look it up". That's the reason why most of us knew words at 8 years old that some 80 years old didn't know and that's why many of us have a hunger to always know more because it was instilled in is from an early age. There are a few exceptions but doesn't EVERY family have one? That obviously made certain folks intimidated by us, ESPECIALLY some other adults because they were like "How can a Lil child know all THIS stuff?". So, when you're around certain folks your age who don't have that same upbringing or that same knowledge that you have, it SCARES them because they don't know what the hell you're talking about. I don't say this to be vain but that's my reality. So, I used to dry to "Dumb it down" around certain folks. I catch myself doing it now, too. Not as much as I USED to because if they give me that look like "WTF did you just say?", I'll just say like my Mother used to tell me..."LOOK IT UP" or "READ A BOOK".



That's PART of my experiences but the other part would be acting "too old". That kind of speaks for itself. To this day, I get called a 80-year-old 20-something year old. I'm telling you, I can be in a room full of senior citizens and understand them better than I do those from my generation. See, society has this image of those of us who are "poor" that we don't know how to speak properly or act properly, so when one of us doesn't fit the stereotype, it scares them. Of course, you have those who try to make it seem like somethings wrong with YOU because their perception of a "normal" person isn't something that you act out. So, you have many directions that you're being pulled in and many roads you have to choose from. Do I choose THIS one to be accepted by THEM or THEM? If you're like me, you've just reached a point where you say "FUCK ALL Y'ALL!!" and do your own thing. If that makes you a sell out, then you'll gladly wear the label.



So, if you've made it through the last 4 paragraphs in one piece, I just wanna ask you THIS question: What is YOUR definition of a Sell Out? I know you all have some good ones for me. Don't be shy. LET IT OUT!

Ummmm KAY.

Alright. While I'm sure THIS is actually pleasurable, considering who's doing this to you, this shit would give you a HEADACHE. Check it out.



All I'ma say is, those men who get this done to you, have HELLA Advil's in your possession...and PRAY that the Booty is a clean one.

May 12, 2010

What would YOU do?


Many times in my 23 years of life, I've witnessed the act of breastfeeding. Most of the times, it's been kinda involuntarily, but I've never minded most times. After all, I'm the residential breast man round this piece. Anyway, I've seen this practiced in front of my very eyes and I've always heard that there are certain places that you should NOT just pull the Titty out and feed it to the baby all willy nilly. Now, I've never agreed with that until I saw somebody do it at church. Yes, at CHURCH. I was sittin' on the Choir stand and in the middle of the sermon, saw some chick just pull the tit out and shove it in the babies mouth like it was no problem. Hell, I say, do YOU....but that was a lil much. That's what the restrooms is for. But I just gotta ask...What do you SAY to a woman who does this in public? I mean, do you walk up and say "You shouldn't do that HERE" or "nobody wants to see your tit"...which WOULD kinda be a lie but I digress.

So, tell me folks...you see a females breast feeding in public, what do you do? What HAVE you done? and to the ladies that HAVE breastfed or who ARE currently...is there some kinda "Breast Feeding" protocol that you should follow?

Apr 7, 2010

No Time for Fake ones.

Can somebody PLEASE explain to me the purpose of Faking Orgasms? I mean, I just don't get it. I get WHY folks DO it (Yes, Ladies, Guys fake em', too...just like Y'ALL), but I'm of the mindset that you don't get what you don't deserve. Now, ME, I've never faked one. I just made it happen FASTER because the chick I was screwin' was stiff as a damn bored. Just LAID there. Didn't even grin. I got mine before her, she got mad because she was "almost there" and I said that I "Just left there" and BOUNCED. Never saw her again. The second time was with somebody else but her Mother was on her way home and I had to jet. Other than that, If I don't feel it and it's Taking me TOO damn long to get there, I'll pull out and leave.

So, tell me, y'all: #1. WHY FAKE IT?! #2. Have you faked it?

Apr 6, 2010

Rambling: ITS CHOKING!



If you've been reading my posts long enough, you'll know that I'm a breast man unapologetic ally. I always have been since as far as I can remember. It's one of the many fetishes that I have. So, When I see a woman that has shirt on that's SO tight that it looks like her tits are suffocating. I understand that logic that women have that if you wear it tight enough, A Dude will look...and dammit, we DO, but if you're anything like me, Shirts that look like your tits have a wedgie is a BIG problem. The same thing that goes with the Pussy tight pants and shorts that many you look like your 2 steps away from having a Yeast infection in your ass crack. I just SERIOUSLY wanna walk up to some of these females and ask them "Baby, can your tits breathe?"...or can THEY breathe? Hell, I loose my breathe at the SIGHT of that stuff and I'm not PACKIN' a pair of tits. I just don't know HOW they are able to damned do it!! It makes me CRY for the Mammeries. It really does. But hey, God bless em'.

Mar 23, 2010

When The Sun Comes Out, So Does The Ash.

In the recent weeks of the weather becoming summer like, we already know what to expect. You will be seeing less and less clothing on people and, frankly, to some of us, it's not surprising, although sometimes you can help if wonder if certain folks looked in the mirror before they left and if they DID, are their elevators still at dungeon level to think that some of the clothes (or lack thereof) are "tasteful". While the clothes make my mouth drop on a VERY rare occasion, it's the Ashyness of some folks that make me laugh, cry and shake my head at them. Those of you who have read this blog before know how I feel about ashyness. So, when I see an ashy ass person, it just me think WTF?! It especially makes me mad to see a womans ashy ass crack staring me in the face with their Hip Hugger's. That's a turn off for me. If your ass is ashy, ain't no tellin' how your vagina is.

I actually have to sit and wonder when did waking around with your ass out while it looks like it just dined on some white powdered donuts become SEXY? Did I mess the Memo?! How do some folks do it? Maybe it's just Me, but Ash ITCHES. It makes me scratch like a CRACK HEAD! But then again, we live in a time where damn near anything goes. Maybe I need to get with the program.

Feb 22, 2010

YOU'RE GONNA LOVE ME!!


OK. I've been a bachelor for all of my 23 years on earth but I'd like to think that if I ever, God forbid, got into a relationship with a woman and if she ever decided that she didn't wanna be with me anymore (for whatever reason) or if I got cheated on, I'd just move the fuck on. Sure, I'd be pissed and probably cuss, fuss and do the usual shit folks do when they are hurt but with time, I'd like to think that I'd get over it. After a while, they'll probably see that the grass ain't greener on the other side and they'll realize they made a mistake by leaving a good man but by then, I'll be long gone. So, I never really understood the lengths folks go to to be with someone who DOESN'T wanna be with them. It really baffles me. Case in point, THIS woman:




Now, while I can understand her being angry that she got played (Somewhat since she took somebody's man), I'm just baffled by the idea that SHE thinks that he's gonna change his mind if she takes away the most precious thing in that mans life: The activity of his limbs. But it's kinda funny. I'll give dude his props for standing his ground, tho...even if it's only a 1 legged stance.

Jan 29, 2010

The High Road Has Been Closed.



The High Road. We've all been told to take it ever since we were children, I'm sure. It's been drilled in my head ever since I was a child by my Grandmother ever since I was a child and more so, in my head NOW as an adult by my Mother. Hell, they really didn't need to tell me to take it because I'm good for it and always haven been. So much so that at times, even though it's been very RARE, that somebody had to BEG me to take the low road when it was MUCH needed. As a Christian, it's my job to take it. But I'ma be honest, taking the high road is VERY overrated at times. I mean, I didn't ALWAYS take it because there HAVE been times when I was caught on those "days" by some unsuspecting fool who was thinking "Oh, well, he won't say/do shit if I do THIS act of assholeness" and they were very surprised when they found out that I was taking a detour in my spirit that day. I'm sure many of you know this, but some people just don't understand it when your nice. They only understand it when you act like a jackass and they respond to that. It's a damn shame but hell, sometimes that's what it takes to get results in the world.

I just don't understand WHY, though. WHY do you have to act a fool to get results? You'd think that SOME folks would just get the message when you FIRMLY but NICELY tell them the first time "Don't fuck with me today". Why must we gotta go upside folks heads and cuss em' out? I'm not talking about KIDS. I'm talkin' bout so-called GROWN folks. I mean, it's ridiculous. I'll never understand it.

Anyway, Rambling done.