Jun 9, 2010


The term SELL OUT has been thrown around to certain folks who have "made it" for centuries. Hell, it's been thrown around to SOME of us who haven't made it but have come a long ways from what we used to be, myself included. Well, I never really WENT anywhere, so to speak, but I've had that label for most of my life, starting since elementary school. I remember talking to a friend of mine one day and I must've said a word that he didn't understand and told me "stop using those damn big words". Ironically, everybody knew what I was talking about but him. You can tell that he used to be one of those students who used to fall asleep in english class or he was the kind of person who didn't do the vocabulary homework your teacher used to assign to you in school.

I always used to hear growing up as a child "You talk different" or "You talk like a white boy". I never understood what that meant and I'll admit, it hurt me deeply. Remember, I was the kind of person who used to ALWAYS wanted people to like me or accept me but I had to learn the hard what that wouldn't always happen. I guess that's why I tell people to suck it up when they cry about not being accepted by a certain group because, really, ALL of us were outcasts at one time or another and we still are, if you're completely honest with yourself. It's all about how you handle it. You either make it work for you or let it break you. But anyway, I used to always get made fun of by the way I talked and the words I used. I still do, as a matter of fact, and that's PART of the reason why I hated public speaking in school as a child and I STILL do to this day, unless I'm cracking jokes. My family wasn't the HUXTABLES and, Lord KNOWS, we got some ghettoness in us from the beginning of time but we always prided ourselves on knowing how to act in certain atmospheres. Some may call it flakiness, some may call it two-faced, but believe me, it's helped me a HELL of a lot.

My family always talked to us like we were little people and if we had a question about what something meant, we were told "Look it up". That's the reason why most of us knew words at 8 years old that some 80 years old didn't know and that's why many of us have a hunger to always know more because it was instilled in is from an early age. There are a few exceptions but doesn't EVERY family have one? That obviously made certain folks intimidated by us, ESPECIALLY some other adults because they were like "How can a Lil child know all THIS stuff?". So, when you're around certain folks your age who don't have that same upbringing or that same knowledge that you have, it SCARES them because they don't know what the hell you're talking about. I don't say this to be vain but that's my reality. So, I used to dry to "Dumb it down" around certain folks. I catch myself doing it now, too. Not as much as I USED to because if they give me that look like "WTF did you just say?", I'll just say like my Mother used to tell me..."LOOK IT UP" or "READ A BOOK".

That's PART of my experiences but the other part would be acting "too old". That kind of speaks for itself. To this day, I get called a 80-year-old 20-something year old. I'm telling you, I can be in a room full of senior citizens and understand them better than I do those from my generation. See, society has this image of those of us who are "poor" that we don't know how to speak properly or act properly, so when one of us doesn't fit the stereotype, it scares them. Of course, you have those who try to make it seem like somethings wrong with YOU because their perception of a "normal" person isn't something that you act out. So, you have many directions that you're being pulled in and many roads you have to choose from. Do I choose THIS one to be accepted by THEM or THEM? If you're like me, you've just reached a point where you say "FUCK ALL Y'ALL!!" and do your own thing. If that makes you a sell out, then you'll gladly wear the label.

So, if you've made it through the last 4 paragraphs in one piece, I just wanna ask you THIS question: What is YOUR definition of a Sell Out? I know you all have some good ones for me. Don't be shy. LET IT OUT!