Jan 26, 2012

Just Talking

Surprise, Surprise!

Waddup, Folk? Those of you who are still HERE, anyway. I know, it's been a minute. Well, it's been MONTHS, to be exact. As you know, I really don't come over here much.

Why? for 2 reasons:

1. Twitter.

2. I AIN'T GOT SHIT TO TALK ABOUT..and what I DO talk about, it's on Twitter.

This one is gonna be too damn much for twitters 140 Characters, so for those of you have actually give a damn what I have to say and those of you who actually like to READ, Take a seat.

Oh, and even though it's late: HAPPY 2012, BLOGGER! Better late than never.

So, those of you who have followed me from Social networking site to HERE some years ago know that I blog (or HAVE blogged) about my family a lot. Of course, I don't and WON'T tell you everything because some things are none of your business but what I want you to know, I'll tell you. I love my Mother to death and would do anything for that woman. It must be a guy thing. NO woman can compete with our Mothers, just like NO man can compete with a Females Father. Of course, there ARE some exceptions to that but you get my point. My Dad? Well, we have a very COOL Relationship. Let me help you understand further.

My Mother and Grandmother (Rest her soul) practically raised me while my Father was dealing with his Drug issues (unbeknown to ME at the time). The thing is, growing up, YEAH, I always wondered why my Dad wasn't around much but I was always so involved in OTHER shit that I didn't think much of it. My Mother never bath mouthed him to me (although I DID hear some shit she HAS said that she doesn't know about. Hey, I was good at sneakin' up on people as kid) and she never explained where he was or anything like that but she always made me call him for Birthdays, holidays, etc. I visited him sometimes, too. I just really started visiting to him and talking to him MORE frequently than I used to as an adult. I'm not really close to his side of the family because I didn't see him much and they're very Shady people. Don't get me wrong, I love them but I'd just rather not deal with the flakiness that is THEM. I AM cool with my Cousins (most of them) and 2 of his siblings but my Grandmother? Well...I just tolerate her. She always favored her daughters kids over her 2 sons kids. She HAD 3 sons but one got killed. None of my cousins OR me ever met him. Hell, we've never even seen a picture of him. Anyway, My Grandmother was a Shady Bitch. Always has been, always will be. My Grandmother is a wonderful person but when it comes to HER? He's a bitch. He'll just go along with anything to make her happy. In all my years growing up, I've seen them and knew who they were but was never close to them. She never liked my Mother because they were BOTH too much alike, HELL Raisers. So, you know how that goes. The Favoritism thing with my Grandmother never bothered me because I didn't feel love deprived. My Mother's side of the family had my back on that. If anything, it confused me because I never had to deal with that because my Mother's side didn't do that too much.

My Father is a wonderful person but I've always viewed him as kinda like the fun uncle that you don't see often but when he comes around, It's a good time with him. To this very day, I don't even call him "Dad". I call him "Senior" because me and him have the same first name or I call him "Old man". Every ONCE in a while, I'll call him "Father" to piss him off because he hates to be called that. One year he apologized for his absence in my life and I accepted because he was surprised that I could still want a relationship with him. My Mother always told me "No matter what, he's still your father" and I live by that. I WILL admit that he stepped up for some things whenever he was ASKED to...but my thing was "Why would I HAVE to ask. You know I need shit every day". Child support was out the question. Hell, whenever he DID pay it, it was like a special treat. I see the way he acts with my little cousins and it kinda makes me jealous because I'm like "Why couldn't you do that for ME?". They love the old fool to DEATH and he'll do anything to help them and it's like "HELLO! I'm over here". But what's done is done and I can't change that. I have to remind him sometimes when NOW if I'm in a bind and I call him out of PURE desperation and he says some shit like "I can't wait for the day you'll take care of Me" that "You don't get the benefits of being the Father without doing the work". All I can say is thank GOD for my Mother's Father, who is the best Grandfather in the world. My Mom says "He wasn't much of a Father but he a DAMN good Grandfather'".

What's the purpose of all of this? Nothing really. Just thoughts of a crazy Negreaux. But I do see so many people going through this myself. They're growing up or HAVE grown up just like this. So, you're not alone. You might think you are but you ain't.  I'm done.