Jan 26, 2012

Just Talking

Surprise, Surprise!

Waddup, Folk? Those of you who are still HERE, anyway. I know, it's been a minute. Well, it's been MONTHS, to be exact. As you know, I really don't come over here much.

Why? for 2 reasons:

1. Twitter.

2. I AIN'T GOT SHIT TO TALK ABOUT..and what I DO talk about, it's on Twitter.

This one is gonna be too damn much for twitters 140 Characters, so for those of you have actually give a damn what I have to say and those of you who actually like to READ, Take a seat.

Oh, and even though it's late: HAPPY 2012, BLOGGER! Better late than never.

So, those of you who have followed me from Social networking site to HERE some years ago know that I blog (or HAVE blogged) about my family a lot. Of course, I don't and WON'T tell you everything because some things are none of your business but what I want you to know, I'll tell you. I love my Mother to death and would do anything for that woman. It must be a guy thing. NO woman can compete with our Mothers, just like NO man can compete with a Females Father. Of course, there ARE some exceptions to that but you get my point. My Dad? Well, we have a very COOL Relationship. Let me help you understand further.

My Mother and Grandmother (Rest her soul) practically raised me while my Father was dealing with his Drug issues (unbeknown to ME at the time). The thing is, growing up, YEAH, I always wondered why my Dad wasn't around much but I was always so involved in OTHER shit that I didn't think much of it. My Mother never bath mouthed him to me (although I DID hear some shit she HAS said that she doesn't know about. Hey, I was good at sneakin' up on people as kid) and she never explained where he was or anything like that but she always made me call him for Birthdays, holidays, etc. I visited him sometimes, too. I just really started visiting to him and talking to him MORE frequently than I used to as an adult. I'm not really close to his side of the family because I didn't see him much and they're very Shady people. Don't get me wrong, I love them but I'd just rather not deal with the flakiness that is THEM. I AM cool with my Cousins (most of them) and 2 of his siblings but my Grandmother? Well...I just tolerate her. She always favored her daughters kids over her 2 sons kids. She HAD 3 sons but one got killed. None of my cousins OR me ever met him. Hell, we've never even seen a picture of him. Anyway, My Grandmother was a Shady Bitch. Always has been, always will be. My Grandmother is a wonderful person but when it comes to HER? He's a bitch. He'll just go along with anything to make her happy. In all my years growing up, I've seen them and knew who they were but was never close to them. She never liked my Mother because they were BOTH too much alike, HELL Raisers. So, you know how that goes. The Favoritism thing with my Grandmother never bothered me because I didn't feel love deprived. My Mother's side of the family had my back on that. If anything, it confused me because I never had to deal with that because my Mother's side didn't do that too much.

My Father is a wonderful person but I've always viewed him as kinda like the fun uncle that you don't see often but when he comes around, It's a good time with him. To this very day, I don't even call him "Dad". I call him "Senior" because me and him have the same first name or I call him "Old man". Every ONCE in a while, I'll call him "Father" to piss him off because he hates to be called that. One year he apologized for his absence in my life and I accepted because he was surprised that I could still want a relationship with him. My Mother always told me "No matter what, he's still your father" and I live by that. I WILL admit that he stepped up for some things whenever he was ASKED to...but my thing was "Why would I HAVE to ask. You know I need shit every day". Child support was out the question. Hell, whenever he DID pay it, it was like a special treat. I see the way he acts with my little cousins and it kinda makes me jealous because I'm like "Why couldn't you do that for ME?". They love the old fool to DEATH and he'll do anything to help them and it's like "HELLO! I'm over here". But what's done is done and I can't change that. I have to remind him sometimes when NOW if I'm in a bind and I call him out of PURE desperation and he says some shit like "I can't wait for the day you'll take care of Me" that "You don't get the benefits of being the Father without doing the work". All I can say is thank GOD for my Mother's Father, who is the best Grandfather in the world. My Mom says "He wasn't much of a Father but he a DAMN good Grandfather'".

What's the purpose of all of this? Nothing really. Just thoughts of a crazy Negreaux. But I do see so many people going through this myself. They're growing up or HAVE grown up just like this. So, you're not alone. You might think you are but you ain't.  I'm done.

Jul 12, 2011

My Musicality doesn't understand yours.

Those of you who have been following me for a minute know that I'm a Self proclaimed music Junkie. I don't Just listen to it, I sing it, I study it and I play it (well, not on the level I want to, but hell, it's something)...hell, it's in me. I can make most of anything into a musical conversation. I take pride in my musical knowledge and the fact that I was educated by the best of the best. I was raised around musicians, Choir Directors, singers..all of that. Every piece of musical knowledge that I've gained in my 24 years of life, even in the womb, sticks with me and will until the day I die. I was taught how to do it RIGHT..and in a way, I still AM being taught how to do it right. I was not cut any slack. My teachers were (and ARE) ruthless and made sure you understood music and the power it has and how it should be done, how it should sound, etc. They made you do your research. With me, that wasn't too hard because I was way ahead of them most times.

I say all of the aforementioned to say that I don't understand many of the music that's out now. I'll never say that it's not REAL music. I can appreciate all types and every body's talent. I'll just say I don't understand it. Without saying any names, I'll just say that most of what is considered "hot shit" these days, I just can't get with it. It takes more than just a catchy hook and a Bangin' beat to give me a Musical erection. Although it's nice to HAVE those, I look for more than that. I don't like "Rappers", I like LYRICISTS. Y'all music heads know the difference between the 2. I'm sure you've heard some of the stuff that's considered "Hip-Hop" and "R&B" these days.

I can't tell you how many times I've gotten into debates with some people about this. They'll call me all types of "Old Souls", Musical Prudes and everything else. Another word that I've been called is a word that needs to be retired quickly: HATER! So, I'm a hater because I expect more? Not so. Quite the Contrary. I'm just not easily musically aroused as some of my counterparts. Shoot, even in some of my Choir Rehearsals (I'm one of the Directors and The Minster of Music is teaching me piano...again), I'm looked at as a Pompous asshole because I will NOT accept just ANYTHING from them. You do it right the first time or go home...and I'll be quick to tell you (mostly with a Stank face) if it's not to my liking. I use the term all the time with people "It's not ROCKET SCIENCE, IT'S MUSIC!".

Then I have to remember, not everybody was educated like I was...and for some, they don't WANNA be. They're used to the Dumbing down of music that's out now and it arouses them musically or they're used to their musical ignorance and they're stuck. I can't do anything about that. I just pity them and pray they'll be shown the light or Grow UP...and when they do, I'll welcome them with open arms. Until then, I'll just be a Musical prude and by my DAMN self.

Jun 21, 2011

Question: SHOULD they put a ring on it?

Waddup, Folks?

Yeah, I decided to blog today after God knows HOW long. It won't be no long one. Just quick and to the point. I've heard this question asked many times in my lifetime and have heard some VERY interesting answers. I wanna see what y'all readers have to say.

So, the Question is: Would you be mad if your spouse doesn't always wear their rings?

Get on it!

Feb 11, 2011


Salutations, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Internet.

Many of you who've read my blogs for a long time now or who have seen my Tweets on Twitter know how much of an obsession I have with my iPod touch...or should I say, I HAD. Yup. It's gone. LONG gone...and has been since December. Lost it while at Church one Sunday morning. I had it in my pocket (Which I don't USUALLY keep it in but I just stuffed it in there because I was rushing to the Choir stand) all that day. I Got home, was too tired to take it out and went to sleep for the night. We had a Concert that day. So, the next morning, I go in my suit pants pocket to get it and Charge it. Wasn't there, OK, cool. Went to the coat pocket, wasn't in there, either. So, now my heart is beating out my Chest. I damn near turned the house inside out, upside down and every which way but loose trying to find the damn thing but NOTHING. Even after I calmed myself down, I looked EVERYWHERE for it. After I finally came to grips with the fact that it wasn't in the house, I called my Grandfather, who works down at the Church, and said "Pop, I lost my iPod in Church. Did you happen to see it anywhere"?. He said "Nope. But I'll look again". I called my Auntie who I rode with that day and asked her to check her car and she said she would. I'm pretty sure she DIDN'T cause she's like that. Went down to Rehearsal later on that week, retraced my steps....NOTHING. So, I just basically gave up all hope of getting it back.

I'm pretty sure one of those Thievin' niggums at the Church got it. There's been reports of A LOT of shit disappearing from the Sanctuary from Jackets to Choir Robes. I've been using the mp3 player on my phone at the moment until (by God's grace) I find the iPod touch I lost or get enough money to get a new one. I used the damn thing for EVERYTHING from emailing, Tweeting to listening to music. But I don't think nobody will be able to get in the email accounts because they don't know the passwords. Don't think I ain't change em', though. Livid doesn't even BEGIN to describe the emotions I felt. But now, I'm cool. I'm still a little pissed because I'm pretty sure whoever found it KNOWS me and KNOWS it's mine because they saw me with it all the damn time. Oh, well. Maybe next time, I'll just lock the damn thing on me. Lesson Learned.

Nov 27, 2010

Headphones = Leave me the Fuck alone!

Salutations, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Internet.

I blog before you hoping that your Holiday was a blessed one and that it was wonderfully spent. I also blog before you to get something off my chest that has been bothering me for years now and to see if I'm the only one who feels this way. Now, it seems that folks have not gotten the memo that a person with headphones on minding their own business is not to be disturbed by anyone or they suffer dire consequences of "Cussyoassout". Either they didn't get the memo or they just don't give a damn and they're being the ignorant. Either way, I HATE it, I despise it, and loathe that shit with a passion. Those of you who know me know that I NEVER leave my house without my iPod. I purposefully buy certain types of headphones that I KNOW will block out folks and their Fucktational doings outside in the street. Hell, I get em' so I can block it out in the house, too, but that's another story. Seriously, though, it goes through me like stewed prunes when I'm on a Musical Journey in my head with me, my imagination, the song of the moment and my headphones to be disturbed by folks and their bullshit. I'll forgive it if it's a life threatening emergency but if it AIN'T, I wish you'd have the decency to leave me the fuck alone until I'm done, whenever THAT is. Write it down, take a picture if you have to remember whatever it is you want, I really don't care but BACK THE FUCK UP.

I don't like that shit when I'm watching T.V, either. If I'm deep into a show, don't come in the room talkin' to me (or anybody else) for that matter all loud and shit. Now, usually, I'll just block you out. I've mastered the art of selective hearing as a child when I'm either deep in though, deep into my Music or deep into a Show on T.V. and I still practice it to this day. It's gotten me slapped a few times, too, by my Mother and a few others but shit, I can't help it. Now, some days are harder than others and I'll tell you, if I CAN, in anyway possible to either shut that bullshit up or go somewhere else where you won't disturb ME. It's very ignorant, rude and disrespectful. Let somebody do that to THEIR dumb asses and they'll have a whole lot of shit to say. Hell, some of Y'ALL might do this same shit to people, too. I'm asking you to STOP that shit. For real. In the Words of my Mother "If you or anybody else ain't dyin', don't call me for SHIT". And I MEAN that. Failure to take heed of those directions will get met with a few Choice cuss words (some you've heard of and some you haven't) and/or the "No the fuck you didn't" look. Get it together, people!!


Oct 1, 2010

Kicking The door in. (Warning: This post will be long as HELL!)

Whut It Dew Pictures, Images and Photos
Salutations to all of you in the blogging community.

It's been a while since I've posted over here. It's really not because I haven't had anything to say. Those of you who follow me on Twitter know I have PLENTY of things to say and plenty of fucktation to post on the daily. It's really because I was just being Lazy or lack of time. Also, I really think I've lost my touch. Y'all know I don't really partake in the latest Gossip on Celebrities (often) or things of that nature. I leave that up to my blogging counterparts. I really felt as thought nobody would be interested in what I'd have to say if it didn't contribute to that. I've missed the blogging forum because it was like therapy for me. Things I've wanted to get off my chest, I did it through a blog. Things I wanted to say that made folks laugh, I did it in a blog. It's gotten me in trouble with some people who've read them but hey, it just wouldn't be a day if I didn't piss somebody off. Can't please everybody, right? I plan to get back to this place a lot more often now because I've found my passion again. The usual shit will go on: some of what I say will make you laugh, some will make you cry, some will make you mad, and some will make you say WTF?! like usual. A lot's been going on with me and I feel the need to just get it out in the best way that I know how.

So, what's been up with me? Here we go.
I've still been working Temp Jobs a lot here and there and it seems as though when I completely ran outta money, one came right on time. Nobody but God gets the credit for that. At the Moment, I'm unemployed AGAIN because I got fired. It was because I got snitched on by one of the bosses pets. Those who've worked with me know all about it and how it went down. Even my OTHER boss knew. I won't go into the details of it because I'll get more pissed off about it about but it is what it is. I got in from work and I got the call no more than 2 minutes after I sat down that I was being let go. I still had a smile on my face the whole time I was getting "Laid out". Yeah, it pissed me off but I'm like something better is coming my way.

Another thing that happened to me was that I've been appointed as the "Assistant" Minister of Music at my Church a year ago. Not getting paid for it but I still love it..most days. We got a new head Minster of Music that saw me the Sunday before he started (He started October 2009) and he liked what he saw, as did my Pastor and the rest is History. It was all well and good with the Choir Members, also, as long as I did what they wanted. See, you have to understand that I'm the youngest Member and have been since I first started with them at the age of 14. Even then, I could feel some of the "Tension" with them because...well..a young person ain't supposed to have as much knowledge as them, especially when they've been doing this before I was even thought of. So imagine little old me trying to teach folks how to sing who date back to the days in church before they even had instruments and who sang with my Great-Grandmother and remember my Grandfather as a child, let alone my Mother, her cousins and THEIR children, me included, since we popped out the womb. Many of them are respectful and supportive but there are a few who try me. I've lost it in a few rehearsals and even on Sunday Mornings and a few times Minster of Music has had to set them straight on how to deal with me. Don't think I haven't been set straight a few times. I understand why, tho: they're old traditional petty folks and they're still salty about the absence of our Former Minister of Music, so they're trying to hold onto their glory days. They thought with my "addition", I'd keep the ways of Old going and when they found out I WASN'T (for the most part), it ruffled some feathers. Add to the fact that I don't play an instrument and can't read music (YET...at least no anymore). So, YUP. It's a challenge but as my Supporters on the choir say, as well as Minister of Music and my family, "Don't worry about them because they're mad they can't do what YOU do". Wonderful advice, although some days are harder than others. I even tried to quit a few times but you know (some) of the powers that be weren't having it. So, all I'ma ask of you is PRAY! Just PRAY.

Other than that, I'm still me and still doing me. I'm also more happier and more confident in myself from some other past issues that I've finally dealt with. Personal issues that I won't get into..but I'm fine. Nothing more to say.

Until the next post, Adieu!

Jul 17, 2010

Something Stinks.

Tell me why do people find the need to try to take care of everybody else shit but their own? It's CRAZY man. It's funny because the same people who try to school you on certain aspects are fucked up in that VERY same thing. Don't know what the hell I'm talkin' bout? Let me give you some examples:

1. they'll tell you how to treat your spouse or you significant other, but they ain't had orgasm since Jesus was born...and all the people THEY dated cheated on them.

2. They'll tell you how to discipline your kids but they kids acting like Monsters.

3. They'll tell you how to clean your house and your clothes, but they shit look like they just came outta dogs ass.

Feel me? I knew you would.

These are the kindsa people that you should REALLY watch out for because they mean you no good. They have all the answers to YOUR problems but their problems have YET to be solved. Something is very wrong there. Personally, I choose to take advice from people who have been there, done that, wore the T-shirt, wrote the bestseller and got lifetime achievement award. Do you really want somebody who hasn't been through what YOU are going through to give you advice on how to get through it? This sounds so damn hypocritical on my part because I've written so many blogs on here giving people advice (and telling people offline the same shit) and I haven't been in MANY of your conditions.....but I OBSERVE!! I'll tell you what I've SEEN works, even if it may not happen to me. Trust me, I care about all of y'alls well being as much as I do with my people offline. Y'all educate me , So I try to do the same thing. Whatever I learn from others, I spread that same knowledge to everybody that I can. With that being said, Let me educate you some more:


Just as you should be careful what you tell people, you should be careful of what you listen to when others tell you shit. Some of it's bullshit, quite frankly, and I know that with some of you, the last thing you need is bullshit. So, don't listen to the bullshiter. Other other hand, DO listen to the bullshiter, because they are some good teachers, too. It's funny but as I was typing this, I came to the conclusion that I keep at least ONE of those bullshiters around because they teach me more shit than NON-Bullshitters. Take heed of what I've previously typed before, but tell those people that you have in your life that are bullshiters Thank you for teaching you more than you can EVER learn from a non-bullshitter. K?


Jul 7, 2010

Air Heads.

Curse the dude who thought that dating a stupid girl was the cool thing to do!! I'm seeing it more and more each day. It's really crazy and disturbing, to say the least. When did it become popular for a dude to start dating stupid girls? When did it become popular for a girl to be stupid? I mean, for real, there are some girl who are just......well...they are fuckin' AIRHEADS! You have to wonder how some of them operate because it doesn't seem like they have a brain. Some dudes are this way, too. I mean, you stupid for wantin' a girl that don't know how to do shit like, Balance a checkbook, clean a house, and at LEAST know how to turn the damn stove on and off! I'm not just talkin' about girls (I say girls because I refuse to call them women even though they are considered that by age) who are in their 20's. Girls in their 40's or older as well. It pisses me off that a dude would stay with a girl or even CHASE one of this nature. I mean, is pussy THAT powerful? I rather be with a chick who thinks with her HEAD as oppose to thinkin' with her tits. I'm interested in her mind as WELL as her body. If that way, if she don't have the body, she can at LEAST have the mind. I'll walk with an "ugly" smart girl over a sexy ass airhead any day.

I'm askin' every dude to change your credentials for a the girls you date. Make sure that they at least have common sense if they don't have book sense. At the same time, don't date a girl who's too damn educated for her own good either. Don't date a girl who got rocks for a brain and a bangin' body but at the same time, don't date a girl who thinks she so damn smart that she'll use her degree to be as stuck up as a erected penis. OK? I'm done.

Jun 16, 2010

Just Say No.

Alright. I've been gone for a minute but I'm back for a QUICK minute.

Now, I don't write this blog to be mean or insensitive...but if you take it that way, that's on YOU.

Have you ever noticed that when you have events that require somebody to read something that it's almost ALWAYS the ones who can't read that good or can't read at ALL that volunteer to do so? I've seen it many times at churches, parties, shows, etc...and quite frankly, I'm embarrassed for those people because they are in front of MANY people looking like a fool. I have to admit, though, I admire their bravery in putting themselves out there like that because I'm not one who's comfortable with speaking in front of people when I have to be SERIOUS most of the time. Never have been. BUT...the backwards thing is, I will get in front of folks and quote a movie line to get a laugh and will sing in front of almost ANYBODY when somebody snaps their fingers. Probably because I've been doing it for so long...but it's my own insecurities. Many years of hearing folks say I talk like a white boy (whatever the fuck THAT means) have taken it's toll on me and made me doubt myself. I'm growing outta that...SLOWLY.

Anyway, I think it's kind of embarrassing for folks to do that to themselves because you know how cruel people can be. They will laugh, point and maybe even BOO you. So, why put yourself through the torture? If somebody asks you, just say NO...like your were taught to do with drugs when you were a kid, ya dig? And maybe after your confidence level gets up or maybe after you take some public speaking classes, THEN...talk all you WANT.

Alright, I'm done rambling. Until the next blog, See you when I see you. *Throws up Deuces*

Jun 9, 2010


The term SELL OUT has been thrown around to certain folks who have "made it" for centuries. Hell, it's been thrown around to SOME of us who haven't made it but have come a long ways from what we used to be, myself included. Well, I never really WENT anywhere, so to speak, but I've had that label for most of my life, starting since elementary school. I remember talking to a friend of mine one day and I must've said a word that he didn't understand and told me "stop using those damn big words". Ironically, everybody knew what I was talking about but him. You can tell that he used to be one of those students who used to fall asleep in english class or he was the kind of person who didn't do the vocabulary homework your teacher used to assign to you in school.

I always used to hear growing up as a child "You talk different" or "You talk like a white boy". I never understood what that meant and I'll admit, it hurt me deeply. Remember, I was the kind of person who used to ALWAYS wanted people to like me or accept me but I had to learn the hard what that wouldn't always happen. I guess that's why I tell people to suck it up when they cry about not being accepted by a certain group because, really, ALL of us were outcasts at one time or another and we still are, if you're completely honest with yourself. It's all about how you handle it. You either make it work for you or let it break you. But anyway, I used to always get made fun of by the way I talked and the words I used. I still do, as a matter of fact, and that's PART of the reason why I hated public speaking in school as a child and I STILL do to this day, unless I'm cracking jokes. My family wasn't the HUXTABLES and, Lord KNOWS, we got some ghettoness in us from the beginning of time but we always prided ourselves on knowing how to act in certain atmospheres. Some may call it flakiness, some may call it two-faced, but believe me, it's helped me a HELL of a lot.

My family always talked to us like we were little people and if we had a question about what something meant, we were told "Look it up". That's the reason why most of us knew words at 8 years old that some 80 years old didn't know and that's why many of us have a hunger to always know more because it was instilled in is from an early age. There are a few exceptions but doesn't EVERY family have one? That obviously made certain folks intimidated by us, ESPECIALLY some other adults because they were like "How can a Lil child know all THIS stuff?". So, when you're around certain folks your age who don't have that same upbringing or that same knowledge that you have, it SCARES them because they don't know what the hell you're talking about. I don't say this to be vain but that's my reality. So, I used to dry to "Dumb it down" around certain folks. I catch myself doing it now, too. Not as much as I USED to because if they give me that look like "WTF did you just say?", I'll just say like my Mother used to tell me..."LOOK IT UP" or "READ A BOOK".

That's PART of my experiences but the other part would be acting "too old". That kind of speaks for itself. To this day, I get called a 80-year-old 20-something year old. I'm telling you, I can be in a room full of senior citizens and understand them better than I do those from my generation. See, society has this image of those of us who are "poor" that we don't know how to speak properly or act properly, so when one of us doesn't fit the stereotype, it scares them. Of course, you have those who try to make it seem like somethings wrong with YOU because their perception of a "normal" person isn't something that you act out. So, you have many directions that you're being pulled in and many roads you have to choose from. Do I choose THIS one to be accepted by THEM or THEM? If you're like me, you've just reached a point where you say "FUCK ALL Y'ALL!!" and do your own thing. If that makes you a sell out, then you'll gladly wear the label.

So, if you've made it through the last 4 paragraphs in one piece, I just wanna ask you THIS question: What is YOUR definition of a Sell Out? I know you all have some good ones for me. Don't be shy. LET IT OUT!