My Twisted Mind

Just Talking

2012-01-26T16:56:00.004-05:00

Surprise, Surprise!

Waddup, Folk? Those of you who are still HERE, anyway. I know, it's been a minute. Well, it's been MONTHS, to be exact. As you know, I really don't come over here much.

Why? for 2 reasons:

1. Twitter.

2. I AIN'T GOT SHIT TO TALK ABOUT..and what I DO talk about, it's on Twitter.

This one is gonna be too damn much for twitters 140 Characters, so for those of you have actually give a damn what I have to say and those of you who actually like to READ, Take a seat.

Oh, and even though it's late: HAPPY 2012, BLOGGER! Better late than never.

So, those of you who have followed me from Social networking site to HERE some years ago know that I blog (or HAVE blogged) about my family a lot. Of course, I don't and WON'T tell you everything because some things are none of your business but what I want you to know, I'll tell you. I love my Mother to death and would do anything for that woman. It must be a guy thing. NO woman can compete with our Mothers, just like NO man can compete with a Females Father. Of course, there ARE some exceptions to that but you get my point. My Dad? Well, we have a very COOL Relationship. Let me help you understand further.

My Mother and Grandmother (Rest her soul) practically raised me while my Father was dealing with his Drug issues (unbeknown to ME at the time). The thing is, growing up, YEAH, I always wondered why my Dad wasn't around much but I was always so involved in OTHER shit that I didn't think much of it. My Mother never bath mouthed him to me (although I DID hear some shit she HAS said that she doesn't know about. Hey, I was good at sneakin' up on people as kid) and she never explained where he was or anything like that but she always made me call him for Birthdays, holidays, etc. I visited him sometimes, too. I just really started visiting to him and talking to him MORE frequently than I used to as an adult. I'm not really close to his side of the family because I didn't see him much and they're very Shady people. Don't get me wrong, I love them but I'd just rather not deal with the flakiness that is THEM. I AM cool with my Cousins (most of them) and 2 of his siblings but my Grandmother? Well...I just tolerate her. She always favored her daughters kids over her 2 sons kids. She HAD 3 sons but one got killed. None of my cousins OR me ever met him. Hell, we've never even seen a picture of him. Anyway, My Grandmother was a Shady Bitch. Always has been, always will be. My Grandmother is a wonderful person but when it comes to HER? He's a bitch. He'll just go along with anything to make her happy. In all my years growing up, I've seen them and knew who they were but was never close to them. She never liked my Mother because they were BOTH too much alike, HELL Raisers. So, you know how that goes. The Favoritism thing with my Grandmother never bothered me because I didn't feel love deprived. My Mother's side of the family had my back on that. If anything, it confused me because I never had to deal with that because my Mother's side didn't do that too much.

My Father is a wonderful person but I've always viewed him as kinda like the fun uncle that you don't see often but when he comes around, It's a good time with him. To this very day, I don't even call him "Dad". I call him "Senior" because me and him have the same first name or I call him "Old man". Every ONCE in a while, I'll call him "Father" to piss him off because he hates to be called that. One year he apologized for his absence in my life and I accepted because he was surprised that I could still want a relationship with him. My Mother always told me "No matter what, he's still your father" and I live by that. I WILL admit that he stepped up for some things whenever he was ASKED to...but my thing was "Why would I HAVE to ask. You know I need shit every day". Child support was out the question. Hell, whenever he DID pay it, it was like a special treat. I see the way he acts with my little cousins and it kinda makes me jealous because I'm like "Why couldn't you do that for ME?". They love the old fool to DEATH and he'll do anything to help them and it's like "HELLO! I'm over here". But what's done is done and I can't change that. I have to remind him sometimes when NOW if I'm in a bind and I call him out of PURE desperation and he says some shit like "I can't wait for the day you'll take care of Me" that "You don't get the benefits of being the Father without doing the work". All I can say is thank GOD for my Mother's Father, who is the best Grandfather in the world. My Mom says "He wasn't much of a Father but he a DAMN good Grandfather'".

What's the purpose of all of this? Nothing really. Just thoughts of a crazy Negreaux. But I do see so many people going through this myself. They're growing up or HAVE grown up just like this. So, you're not alone. You might think you are but you ain't. I'm done.

My Musicality doesn't understand yours.

2011-07-12T19:34:00.003-04:00

Those of you who have been following me for a minute know that I'm a Self proclaimed music Junkie. I don't Just listen to it, I sing it, I study it and I play it (well, not on the level I want to, but hell, it's something)...hell, it's in me. I can make most of anything into a musical conversation. I take pride in my musical knowledge and the fact that I was educated by the best of the best. I was raised around musicians, Choir Directors, singers..all of that. Every piece of musical knowledge that I've gained in my 24 years of life, even in the womb, sticks with me and will until the day I die. I was taught how to do it RIGHT..and in a way, I still AM being taught how to do it right. I was not cut any slack. My teachers were (and ARE) ruthless and made sure you understood music and the power it has and how it should be done, how it should sound, etc. They made you do your research. With me, that wasn't too hard because I was way ahead of them most times.

I say all of the aforementioned to say that I don't understand many of the music that's out now. I'll never say that it's not REAL music. I can appreciate all types and every body's talent. I'll just say I don't understand it. Without saying any names, I'll just say that most of what is considered "hot shit" these days, I just can't get with it. It takes more than just a catchy hook and a Bangin' beat to give me a Musical erection. Although it's nice to HAVE those, I look for more than that. I don't like "Rappers", I like LYRICISTS. Y'all music heads know the difference between the 2. I'm sure you've heard some of the stuff that's considered "Hip-Hop" and "R&B" these days.

I can't tell you how many times I've gotten into debates with some people about this. They'll call me all types of "Old Souls", Musical Prudes and everything else. Another word that I've been called is a word that needs to be retired quickly: HATER! So, I'm a hater because I expect more? Not so. Quite the Contrary. I'm just not easily musically aroused as some of my counterparts. Shoot, even in some of my Choir Rehearsals (I'm one of the Directors and The Minster of Music is teaching me piano...again), I'm looked at as a Pompous asshole because I will NOT accept just ANYTHING from them. You do it right the first time or go home...and I'll be quick to tell you (mostly with a Stank face) if it's not to my liking. I use the term all the time with people "It's not ROCKET SCIENCE, IT'S MUSIC!".

Then I have to remember, not everybody was educated like I was...and for some, they don't WANNA be. They're used to the Dumbing down of music that's out now and it arouses them musically or they're used to their musical ignorance and they're stuck. I can't do anything about that. I just pity them and pray they'll be shown the light or Grow UP...and when they do, I'll welcome them with open arms. Until then, I'll just be a Musical prude and by my DAMN self.

Question: SHOULD they put a ring on it?

2011-06-21T15:02:00.004-04:00

Waddup, Folks?

Yeah, I decided to blog today after God knows HOW long. It won't be no long one. Just quick and to the point. I've heard this question asked many times in my lifetime and have heard some VERY interesting answers. I wanna see what y'all readers have to say.

So, the Question is: Would you be mad if your spouse doesn't always wear their rings?

Get on it!

iPISSED

2011-02-11T14:27:00.005-05:00

Salutations, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Internet.

Many of you who've read my blogs for a long time now or who have seen my Tweets on Twitter know how much of an obsession I have with my iPod touch...or should I say, I HAD. Yup. It's gone. LONG gone...and has been since December. Lost it while at Church one Sunday morning. I had it in my pocket (Which I don't USUALLY keep it in but I just stuffed it in there because I was rushing to the Choir stand) all that day. I Got home, was too tired to take it out and went to sleep for the night. We had a Concert that day. So, the next morning, I go in my suit pants pocket to get it and Charge it. Wasn't there, OK, cool. Went to the coat pocket, wasn't in there, either. So, now my heart is beating out my Chest. I damn near turned the house inside out, upside down and every which way but loose trying to find the damn thing but NOTHING. Even after I calmed myself down, I looked EVERYWHERE for it. After I finally came to grips with the fact that it wasn't in the house, I called my Grandfather, who works down at the Church, and said "Pop, I lost my iPod in Church. Did you happen to see it anywhere"?. He said "Nope. But I'll look again". I called my Auntie who I rode with that day and asked her to check her car and she said she would. I'm pretty sure she DIDN'T cause she's like that. Went down to Rehearsal later on that week, retraced my steps....NOTHING. So, I just basically gave up all hope of getting it back.

I'm pretty sure one of those Thievin' niggums at the Church got it. There's been reports of A LOT of shit disappearing from the Sanctuary from Jackets to Choir Robes. I've been using the mp3 player on my phone at the moment until (by God's grace) I find the iPod touch I lost or get enough money to get a new one. I used the damn thing for EVERYTHING from emailing, Tweeting to listening to music. But I don't think nobody will be able to get in the email accounts because they don't know the passwords. Don't think I ain't change em', though. Livid doesn't even BEGIN to describe the emotions I felt. But now, I'm cool. I'm still a little pissed because I'm pretty sure whoever found it KNOWS me and KNOWS it's mine because they saw me with it all the damn time. Oh, well. Maybe next time, I'll just lock the damn thing on me. Lesson Learned.

Headphones = Leave me the Fuck alone!

2010-11-27T14:27:00.003-05:00

Salutations, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Internet.

I blog before you hoping that your Holiday was a blessed one and that it was wonderfully spent. I also blog before you to get something off my chest that has been bothering me for years now and to see if I'm the only one who feels this way. Now, it seems that folks have not gotten the memo that a person with headphones on minding their own business is not to be disturbed by anyone or they suffer dire consequences of "Cussyoassout". Either they didn't get the memo or they just don't give a damn and they're being the ignorant. Either way, I HATE it, I despise it, and loathe that shit with a passion. Those of you who know me know that I NEVER leave my house without my iPod. I purposefully buy certain types of headphones that I KNOW will block out folks and their Fucktational doings outside in the street. Hell, I get em' so I can block it out in the house, too, but that's another story. Seriously, though, it goes through me like stewed prunes when I'm on a Musical Journey in my head with me, my imagination, the song of the moment and my headphones to be disturbed by folks and their bullshit. I'll forgive it if it's a life threatening emergency but if it AIN'T, I wish you'd have the decency to leave me the fuck alone until I'm done, whenever THAT is. Write it down, take a picture if you have to remember whatever it is you want, I really don't care but BACK THE FUCK UP.

I don't like that shit when I'm watching T.V, either. If I'm deep into a show, don't come in the room talkin' to me (or anybody else) for that matter all loud and shit. Now, usually, I'll just block you out. I've mastered the art of selective hearing as a child when I'm either deep in though, deep into my Music or deep into a Show on T.V. and I still practice it to this day. It's gotten me slapped a few times, too, by my Mother and a few others but shit, I can't help it. Now, some days are harder than others and I'll tell you, if I CAN, in anyway possible to either shut that bullshit up or go somewhere else where you won't disturb ME. It's very ignorant, rude and disrespectful. Let somebody do that to THEIR dumb asses and they'll have a whole lot of shit to say. Hell, some of Y'ALL might do this same shit to people, too. I'm asking you to STOP that shit. For real. In the Words of my Mother "If you or anybody else ain't dyin', don't call me for SHIT". And I MEAN that. Failure to take heed of those directions will get met with a few Choice cuss words (some you've heard of and some you haven't) and/or the "No the fuck you didn't" look. Get it together, people!!

Adieu!

Kicking The door in. (Warning: This post will be long as HELL!)

2010-10-01T18:30:00.003-04:00

Salutations to all of you in the blogging community.

It's been a while since I've posted over here. It's really not because I haven't had anything to say. Those of you who follow me on Twitter know I have PLENTY of things to say and plenty of fucktation to post on the daily. It's really because I was just being Lazy or lack of time. Also, I really think I've lost my touch. Y'all know I don't really partake in the latest Gossip on Celebrities (often) or things of that nature. I leave that up to my blogging counterparts. I really felt as thought nobody would be interested in what I'd have to say if it didn't contribute to that. I've missed the blogging forum because it was like therapy for me. Things I've wanted to get off my chest, I did it through a blog. Things I wanted to say that made folks laugh, I did it in a blog. It's gotten me in trouble with some people who've read them but hey, it just wouldn't be a day if I didn't piss somebody off. Can't please everybody, right? I plan to get back to this place a lot more often now because I've found my passion again. The usual shit will go on: some of what I say will make you laugh, some will make you cry, some will make you mad, and some will make you say WTF?! like usual. A lot's been going on with me and I feel the need to just get it out in the best way that I know how.

So, what's been up with me? Here we go. I've still been working Temp Jobs a lot here and there and it seems as though when I completely ran outta money, one came right on time. Nobody but God gets the credit for that. At the Moment, I'm unemployed AGAIN because I got fired. It was because I got snitched on by one of the bosses pets. Those who've worked with me know all about it and how it went down. Even my OTHER boss knew. I won't go into the details of it because I'll get more pissed off about it about but it is what it is. I got in from work and I got the call no more than 2 minutes after I sat down that I was being let go. I still had a smile on my face the whole time I was getting "Laid out". Yeah, it pissed me off but I'm like something better is coming my way.

Another thing that happened to me was that I've been appointed as the "Assistant" Minister of Music at my Church a year ago. Not getting paid for it but I still love it..most days. We got a new head Minster of Music that saw me the Sunday before he started (He started October 2009) and he liked what he saw, as did my Pastor and the rest is History. It was all well and good with the Choir Members, also, as long as I did what they wanted. See, you have to understand that I'm the youngest Member and have been since I first started with them at the age of 14. Even then, I could feel some of the "Tension" with them because...well..a young person ain't supposed to have as much knowledge as them, especially when they've been doing this before I was even thought of. So imagine little old me trying to teach folks how to sing who date back to the days in church before they even had instruments and who sang with my Great-Grandmother and remember my Grandfather as a child, let alone my Mother, her cousins and THEIR children, me included, since we popped out the womb. Many of them are respectful and supportive but there are a few who try me. I've lost it in a few rehearsals and even on Sunday Mornings and a few times Minster of Music has had to set them straight on how to deal with me. Don't think I haven't been set straight a few times. I understand why, tho: they're old traditional petty folks and they're still salty about the absence of our Former Minister of Music, so they're trying to hold onto their glory days. They thought with my "addition", I'd keep the ways of Old going and when they found out I WASN'T (for the most part), it ruffled some feathers. Add to the fact that I don't play an instrument and can't read music (YET...at least no anymore). So, YUP. It's a challenge but as my Supporters on the choir say, as well as Minister of Music and my family, "Don't worry about them because they're mad they can't do what YOU do". Wonderful advice, although some days are harder than others. I even tried to quit a few times but you know (some) of the powers that be weren't having it. So, all I'ma ask of you is PRAY! Just PRAY.

Other than that, I'm still me and still doing me. I'm also more happier and more confident in myself from some other past issues that I've finally dealt with. Personal issues that I won't get into..but I'm fine. Nothing more to say.

Until the next post, Adieu!

Something Stinks.

2010-07-17T18:22:00.002-04:00

Tell me why do people find the need to try to take care of everybody else shit but their own? It's CRAZY man. It's funny because the same people who try to school you on certain aspects are fucked up in that VERY same thing. Don't know what the hell I'm talkin' bout? Let me give you some examples:

1. they'll tell you how to treat your spouse or you significant other, but they ain't had orgasm since Jesus was born...and all the people THEY dated cheated on them.

2. They'll tell you how to discipline your kids but they kids acting like Monsters.

3. They'll tell you how to clean your house and your clothes, but they shit look like they just came outta dogs ass.

Feel me? I knew you would.

These are the kindsa people that you should REALLY watch out for because they mean you no good. They have all the answers to YOUR problems but their problems have YET to be solved. Something is very wrong there. Personally, I choose to take advice from people who have been there, done that, wore the T-shirt, wrote the bestseller and got lifetime achievement award. Do you really want somebody who hasn't been through what YOU are going through to give you advice on how to get through it? This sounds so damn hypocritical on my part because I've written so many blogs on here giving people advice (and telling people offline the same shit) and I haven't been in MANY of your conditions.....but I OBSERVE!! I'll tell you what I've SEEN works, even if it may not happen to me. Trust me, I care about all of y'alls well being as much as I do with my people offline. Y'all educate me , So I try to do the same thing. Whatever I learn from others, I spread that same knowledge to everybody that I can. With that being said, Let me educate you some more:

BE CAREFUL WHO YOU LISTEN TO!!!!

Just as you should be careful what you tell people, you should be careful of what you listen to when others tell you shit. Some of it's bullshit, quite frankly, and I know that with some of you, the last thing you need is bullshit. So, don't listen to the bullshiter. Other other hand, DO listen to the bullshiter, because they are some good teachers, too. It's funny but as I was typing this, I came to the conclusion that I keep at least ONE of those bullshiters around because they teach me more shit than NON-Bullshitters. Take heed of what I've previously typed before, but tell those people that you have in your life that are bullshiters Thank you for teaching you more than you can EVER learn from a non-bullshitter. K?

Done!

Air Heads.

2010-07-07T14:05:00.001-04:00

Curse the dude who thought that dating a stupid girl was the cool thing to do!! I'm seeing it more and more each day. It's really crazy and disturbing, to say the least. When did it become popular for a dude to start dating stupid girls? When did it become popular for a girl to be stupid? I mean, for real, there are some girl who are just......well...they are fuckin' AIRHEADS! You have to wonder how some of them operate because it doesn't seem like they have a brain. Some dudes are this way, too. I mean, you stupid for wantin' a girl that don't know how to do shit like, Balance a checkbook, clean a house, and at LEAST know how to turn the damn stove on and off! I'm not just talkin' about girls (I say girls because I refuse to call them women even though they are considered that by age) who are in their 20's. Girls in their 40's or older as well. It pisses me off that a dude would stay with a girl or even CHASE one of this nature. I mean, is pussy THAT powerful? I rather be with a chick who thinks with her HEAD as oppose to thinkin' with her tits. I'm interested in her mind as WELL as her body. If that way, if she don't have the body, she can at LEAST have the mind. I'll walk with an "ugly" smart girl over a sexy ass airhead any day.

I'm askin' every dude to change your credentials for a the girls you date. Make sure that they at least have common sense if they don't have book sense. At the same time, don't date a girl who's too damn educated for her own good either. Don't date a girl who got rocks for a brain and a bangin' body but at the same time, don't date a girl who thinks she so damn smart that she'll use her degree to be as stuck up as a erected penis. OK? I'm done.

Just Say No.

2010-06-16T13:19:00.001-04:00

Alright. I've been gone for a minute but I'm back for a QUICK minute.

Now, I don't write this blog to be mean or insensitive...but if you take it that way, that's on YOU.

Have you ever noticed that when you have events that require somebody to read something that it's almost ALWAYS the ones who can't read that good or can't read at ALL that volunteer to do so? I've seen it many times at churches, parties, shows, etc...and quite frankly, I'm embarrassed for those people because they are in front of MANY people looking like a fool. I have to admit, though, I admire their bravery in putting themselves out there like that because I'm not one who's comfortable with speaking in front of people when I have to be SERIOUS most of the time. Never have been. BUT...the backwards thing is, I will get in front of folks and quote a movie line to get a laugh and will sing in front of almost ANYBODY when somebody snaps their fingers. Probably because I've been doing it for so long...but it's my own insecurities. Many years of hearing folks say I talk like a white boy (whatever the fuck THAT means) have taken it's toll on me and made me doubt myself. I'm growing outta that...SLOWLY.

Anyway, I think it's kind of embarrassing for folks to do that to themselves because you know how cruel people can be. They will laugh, point and maybe even BOO you. So, why put yourself through the torture? If somebody asks you, just say NO...like your were taught to do with drugs when you were a kid, ya dig? And maybe after your confidence level gets up or maybe after you take some public speaking classes, THEN...talk all you WANT.

Alright, I'm done rambling. Until the next blog, See you when I see you. *Throws up Deuces*

DUMB IT DOWN, YOU SELL OUT!

2010-06-09T14:44:00.005-04:00

The term SELL OUT has been thrown around to certain folks who have "made it" for centuries. Hell, it's been thrown around to SOME of us who haven't made it but have come a long ways from what we used to be, myself included. Well, I never really WENT anywhere, so to speak, but I've had that label for most of my life, starting since elementary school. I remember talking to a friend of mine one day and I must've said a word that he didn't understand and told me "stop using those damn big words". Ironically, everybody knew what I was talking about but him. You can tell that he used to be one of those students who used to fall asleep in english class or he was the kind of person who didn't do the vocabulary homework your teacher used to assign to you in school.

I always used to hear growing up as a child "You talk different" or "You talk like a white boy". I never understood what that meant and I'll admit, it hurt me deeply. Remember, I was the kind of person who used to ALWAYS wanted people to like me or accept me but I had to learn the hard what that wouldn't always happen. I guess that's why I tell people to suck it up when they cry about not being accepted by a certain group because, really, ALL of us were outcasts at one time or another and we still are, if you're completely honest with yourself. It's all about how you handle it. You either make it work for you or let it break you. But anyway, I used to always get made fun of by the way I talked and the words I used. I still do, as a matter of fact, and that's PART of the reason why I hated public speaking in school as a child and I STILL do to this day, unless I'm cracking jokes. My family wasn't the HUXTABLES and, Lord KNOWS, we got some ghettoness in us from the beginning of time but we always prided ourselves on knowing how to act in certain atmospheres. Some may call it flakiness, some may call it two-faced, but believe me, it's helped me a HELL of a lot.

My family always talked to us like we were little people and if we had a question about what something meant, we were told "Look it up". That's the reason why most of us knew words at 8 years old that some 80 years old didn't know and that's why many of us have a hunger to always know more because it was instilled in is from an early age. There are a few exceptions but doesn't EVERY family have one? That obviously made certain folks intimidated by us, ESPECIALLY some other adults because they were like "How can a Lil child know all THIS stuff?". So, when you're around certain folks your age who don't have that same upbringing or that same knowledge that you have, it SCARES them because they don't know what the hell you're talking about. I don't say this to be vain but that's my reality. So, I used to dry to "Dumb it down" around certain folks. I catch myself doing it now, too. Not as much as I USED to because if they give me that look like "WTF did you just say?", I'll just say like my Mother used to tell me..."LOOK IT UP" or "READ A BOOK".

That's PART of my experiences but the other part would be acting "too old". That kind of speaks for itself. To this day, I get called a 80-year-old 20-something year old. I'm telling you, I can be in a room full of senior citizens and understand them better than I do those from my generation. See, society has this image of those of us who are "poor" that we don't know how to speak properly or act properly, so when one of us doesn't fit the stereotype, it scares them. Of course, you have those who try to make it seem like somethings wrong with YOU because their perception of a "normal" person isn't something that you act out. So, you have many directions that you're being pulled in and many roads you have to choose from. Do I choose THIS one to be accepted by THEM or THEM? If you're like me, you've just reached a point where you say "FUCK ALL Y'ALL!!" and do your own thing. If that makes you a sell out, then you'll gladly wear the label.

So, if you've made it through the last 4 paragraphs in one piece, I just wanna ask you THIS question: What is YOUR definition of a Sell Out? I know you all have some good ones for me. Don't be shy. LET IT OUT!

Ummmm KAY.

2010-06-09T12:26:00.004-04:00

Alright. While I'm sure THIS is actually pleasurable, considering who's doing this to you, this shit would give you a HEADACHE. Check it out.

All I'ma say is, those men who get this done to you, have HELLA Advil's in your possession...and PRAY that the Booty is a clean one.

What would YOU do?

2010-05-12T11:31:00.004-04:00

Many times in my 23 years of life, I've witnessed the act of breastfeeding. Most of the times, it's been kinda involuntarily, but I've never minded most times. After all, I'm the residential breast man round this piece. Anyway, I've seen this practiced in front of my very eyes and I've always heard that there are certain places that you should NOT just pull the Titty out and feed it to the baby all willy nilly. Now, I've never agreed with that until I saw somebody do it at church. Yes, at CHURCH. I was sittin' on the Choir stand and in the middle of the sermon, saw some chick just pull the tit out and shove it in the babies mouth like it was no problem. Hell, I say, do YOU....but that was a lil much. That's what the restrooms is for. But I just gotta ask...What do you SAY to a woman who does this in public? I mean, do you walk up and say "You shouldn't do that HERE" or "nobody wants to see your tit"...which WOULD kinda be a lie but I digress.

So, tell me folks...you see a females breast feeding in public, what do you do? What HAVE you done? and to the ladies that HAVE breastfed or who ARE currently...is there some kinda "Breast Feeding" protocol that you should follow?

No Time for Fake ones.

2010-04-07T15:34:00.001-04:00

Can somebody PLEASE explain to me the purpose of Faking Orgasms? I mean, I just don't get it. I get WHY folks DO it (Yes, Ladies, Guys fake em', too...just like Y'ALL), but I'm of the mindset that you don't get what you don't deserve. Now, ME, I've never faked one. I just made it happen FASTER because the chick I was screwin' was stiff as a damn bored. Just LAID there. Didn't even grin. I got mine before her, she got mad because she was "almost there" and I said that I "Just left there" and BOUNCED. Never saw her again. The second time was with somebody else but her Mother was on her way home and I had to jet. Other than that, If I don't feel it and it's Taking me TOO damn long to get there, I'll pull out and leave.

So, tell me, y'all: #1. WHY FAKE IT?! #2. Have you faked it?

Rambling: ITS CHOKING!

2010-04-06T11:03:00.000-04:00

If you've been reading my posts long enough, you'll know that I'm a breast man unapologetic ally. I always have been since as far as I can remember. It's one of the many fetishes that I have. So, When I see a woman that has shirt on that's SO tight that it looks like her tits are suffocating. I understand that logic that women have that if you wear it tight enough, A Dude will look...and dammit, we DO, but if you're anything like me, Shirts that look like your tits have a wedgie is a BIG problem. The same thing that goes with the Pussy tight pants and shorts that many you look like your 2 steps away from having a Yeast infection in your ass crack. I just SERIOUSLY wanna walk up to some of these females and ask them "Baby, can your tits breathe?"...or can THEY breathe? Hell, I loose my breathe at the SIGHT of that stuff and I'm not PACKIN' a pair of tits. I just don't know HOW they are able to damned do it!! It makes me CRY for the Mammeries. It really does. But hey, God bless em'.

When The Sun Comes Out, So Does The Ash.

2010-03-23T18:49:00.003-04:00

In the recent weeks of the weather becoming summer like, we already know what to expect. You will be seeing less and less clothing on people and, frankly, to some of us, it's not surprising, although sometimes you can help if wonder if certain folks looked in the mirror before they left and if they DID, are their elevators still at dungeon level to think that some of the clothes (or lack thereof) are "tasteful". While the clothes make my mouth drop on a VERY rare occasion, it's the Ashyness of some folks that make me laugh, cry and shake my head at them. Those of you who have read this blog before know how I feel about ashyness. So, when I see an ashy ass person, it just me think WTF?! It especially makes me mad to see a womans ashy ass crack staring me in the face with their Hip Hugger's. That's a turn off for me. If your ass is ashy, ain't no tellin' how your vagina is.

I actually have to sit and wonder when did waking around with your ass out while it looks like it just dined on some white powdered donuts become SEXY? Did I mess the Memo?! How do some folks do it? Maybe it's just Me, but Ash ITCHES. It makes me scratch like a CRACK HEAD! But then again, we live in a time where damn near anything goes. Maybe I need to get with the program.

YOU'RE GONNA LOVE ME!!

2010-02-22T11:52:00.003-05:00

OK. I've been a bachelor for all of my 23 years on earth but I'd like to think that if I ever, God forbid, got into a relationship with a woman and if she ever decided that she didn't wanna be with me anymore (for whatever reason) or if I got cheated on, I'd just move the fuck on. Sure, I'd be pissed and probably cuss, fuss and do the usual shit folks do when they are hurt but with time, I'd like to think that I'd get over it. After a while, they'll probably see that the grass ain't greener on the other side and they'll realize they made a mistake by leaving a good man but by then, I'll be long gone. So, I never really understood the lengths folks go to to be with someone who DOESN'T wanna be with them. It really baffles me. Case in point, THIS woman:

Now, while I can understand her being angry that she got played (Somewhat since she took somebody's man), I'm just baffled by the idea that SHE thinks that he's gonna change his mind if she takes away the most precious thing in that mans life: The activity of his limbs. But it's kinda funny. I'll give dude his props for standing his ground, tho...even if it's only a 1 legged stance.

The High Road Has Been Closed.

2010-01-29T17:31:00.004-05:00

The High Road. We've all been told to take it ever since we were children, I'm sure. It's been drilled in my head ever since I was a child by my Grandmother ever since I was a child and more so, in my head NOW as an adult by my Mother. Hell, they really didn't need to tell me to take it because I'm good for it and always haven been. So much so that at times, even though it's been very RARE, that somebody had to BEG me to take the low road when it was MUCH needed. As a Christian, it's my job to take it. But I'ma be honest, taking the high road is VERY overrated at times. I mean, I didn't ALWAYS take it because there HAVE been times when I was caught on those "days" by some unsuspecting fool who was thinking "Oh, well, he won't say/do shit if I do THIS act of assholeness" and they were very surprised when they found out that I was taking a detour in my spirit that day. I'm sure many of you know this, but some people just don't understand it when your nice. They only understand it when you act like a jackass and they respond to that. It's a damn shame but hell, sometimes that's what it takes to get results in the world.

I just don't understand WHY, though. WHY do you have to act a fool to get results? You'd think that SOME folks would just get the message when you FIRMLY but NICELY tell them the first time "Don't fuck with me today". Why must we gotta go upside folks heads and cuss em' out? I'm not talking about KIDS. I'm talkin' bout so-called GROWN folks. I mean, it's ridiculous. I'll never understand it.

Anyway, Rambling done.

New Years Resolutions.

2009-12-18T12:53:00.005-05:00

Yeah. Your eyes isn't playing tricks on you, my most devoted readers. It's a blog from me. A REAL one. I know, I've been MIA for a LONG ass time. It's not that I didn't really WANNA blog. I just lost my passion for it or when I tried so HARD to, nothing came out. So, here I am. Enough with the damn announcement because I'm sure most of you don't care.

I've never really been a fan of New Years Resolutions. Oh, Hell. Lemme be totally honest: I FUCKIN' HATE THEM! I remember as a Child, my Grandmother would always ask me every year what mine would be. She'd say "God gave up something for US in His only Son, so you have to give up something for Him, too". I used to say something easy like "I'll try to make good grades this year" or something of that nature. In the back of my mind, I was like "THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT!". I never SAID that for the fear of getting knocked to high Heaven but you can pretty much tell that by the look on my face. I think they're stupid. They're just promises most people make to themselves that they probably won't keep anyway. So, I don't even waste my time with them. I tried it for the hell of it last year but I was like "NAW!! NEVER AGAIN".

Now, lemme say that I don't knock those who make them for themselves. Hell, some probably even KEEP them and to that, I applaud them, I salute them and say more power to them. But for me? I don't make them for myself because I'm of the mindset that I can choose any damn day of the year to change something, with God's help of Course. I don't have to wait until January 1st to do it. Any day is good for me. It's not like I don't have some goals for the new year but I'm not exactly PROMISING myself that I'll do this or that for the new year. I'm of the mindset that I'll work towards it WHENEVER and if it's God's will that it HAPPENS, then so be it. If It DON'T, that's cool, too. So, to those of you who do it, GOD BLESS YOU AND I WISH YOU WELL! I hope you succeed, But I think I'll chill on that.

Thanksgiving Etiquette. (Some folks need it).

2009-11-23T15:38:00.002-05:00

10 RULES FOR THANKSGIVING DINNER AT MY HOUSE

1. Don't get in line asking questions about the food. "Who made the potato salad? Is it egg in there? Are the greens fresh? Is the meat in the greens turkey or pork? Who made the macaroni and cheese? What kind of pie is that? Who made it? Ask one more question and I will punch you in your mouth, knocking out all your fronts so you won’t be able to eat anything.

2. If you can't walk or are missing any limbs, sit your a.. down until someone makes your plate for you. Dinner time is not the time for you to be independent. Nibble on them damn. pecans and walnuts to hold you over until someone makes you a plate.

3. If you have kids under the age of twelve, I will escort their little butts to the basement and bring their food down to them. They are not gonna tear my damn house up this year. Tell them that they are not allowed upstairs until it's time for Uncle Butchie to start telling family stories about their mommas and papas. If they come upstairs for any reason except for that they are bleeding to death, I will break a foot off in their ass!

4. There is going to be one prayer for Thanksgiving dinner! JUST ONE! We do not care that you are thankful that your 13 year old daughter gave birth to a healthy baby or your nephew just got out of jail. Save that talk for somebody who gives a sh.. The time limit for the prayer is one minute. If you are still talking after that one minute is up, you will feel something hard come across your lips and they will be swollen for approximately 20 minutes.

5. Finish everything on your plate before you go up for seconds! If you don't, you will be cursed out and asked to stay your greedy a.. home next year!

6. BRING YOUR OWN TUPPERWARE!! Don't let me catch you fixing yourself a plate in my good Tupperware knowing damn well that I will never see it again! Furthermore, if you didn't bring anything over, don't let me catch you making a plate period or it will be a misunderstanding and confrontation!

7. What you came with is what you should leave with!! Do not leave my house with anything that doesn't belong to you. EVERYBODY WILL BE SUBJECTED TO A BODY SEARCH COMING AND GOING OUT OF MY DOMAIN!!!

8. Do not leave your kids so you can go hopping from house to house. This is not a DAYCARE CENTER ! There will be a kid-parent roll call every ten minutes. Any parent that is not present at the time of roll call, your child will be put outside until you come and get him or her.. After 24 hours, I will call DHS on your ignorant a..!!

9. BOOK YOUR HOTEL ROOM BEFORE YOU COME INTO TOWN!! There will be no sleeping over at my house! You are to come and eat dinner and take your ass home or to your hotel room. EVERYBODY GETS KICKED THE HELL OUT AT 11:00 pm. You will get a 15 minute warning bell ring.

10. Last but not least! ONE PLATE PER PERSON!! This is not a soup kitchen. I am not trying to feed your family until Christmas dinner! You will be supervised when you fix your plate. Anything over the appropriate amount will be charged to you before you leave. There will be a cash register at the door. Thanks to Cousin Alfred and his greedy a.. family, we now have a credit card machine! So VISA and MASTERCARD are now being accepted. NO FOOD STAMPS OR ACCESS CARDS YET!

Hope everyone enjoy ThanksGiving… just remember the above rules if you stop by my house. GOD BLESS YA!

Beggars Can't be Choosy.

2009-11-16T19:10:00.002-05:00

I went to McDonald's some time ago and there was this homeless dude in there askin' for some money to get somethin' to eat. Nobody, including me, gave him anything because he's around there all the time with a different outfit on erryday (better shit than I could EVER wear) and he got a fresh pack of Newport's all the time. Plus, I got a source that says he lives in this homeless shelter. So, he's doing good, compared to other homeless people...at least, that's what I gather. Well, anyway, this elderly woman came in with her Grand-kids (teenagers) and he asked her for some money to get some food. She said "Tell me what you want and I'll get it for you". This fool said "Just give me the money, bitch!!". You already know what happened. Her Grand-kids beat the Holy hell outta him. I woulda helped dude, but I didn't for 2 reasons.

1. He was WAAAY outta line callin' that woman a female dog when she was tryin' to help his ass.

2. My Double Quarter Pounder was tastin' too damn good to stop eatin' it.

I find it funny that people who beg for ANYTHING (whether it be sex, money, food, etc.) can be SO damn choosy when they ask you for shit. Not just homeless (or SUPPOSEDLY homeless) people but people in general. If you ask somebody to do something outta the kindness of their heart, something like THIS anyway, you should be grateful that they would even do somethin' like that and take it how they give it, considering the fact that they don't HAVE to do what you begged them to do but they WANT to. I did make an effort to ask was he alright when I finished eating and was on my way back to work. After he said he was, I said "Maybe next time, you'll take the food and not get yo' ass whooped for being ignant!!".

ANOTHER ONE?

2009-11-06T21:22:00.002-05:00

I guess I'll be taking my Nephew to see THIS when it comes out. I can hardly wait.

Halloween and Mischief night: LAWD, THE MEMORIES!

2009-10-28T12:27:00.003-04:00

With all the talk about Halloween and Mischief night around the hood and around the blogosphere, a thousand memories of my youth flashed through my mind about the care free years of being a kid around this time. I remember well the Halloween Parties (Most of which where thrown by my Grandmother) and I remember Trick or Treating until my soul was satisfied. There was a house around the way where instead of CANDY, this old Lady would give out MONEY...in Change form, of course, but shit, we ain't care. We ALWAYS made sure to get that house early before ANYBODY. The Lady living there would drop a bag of Change in your Candy bag. I don't know what ever happened to her. Around the time I was 9 or 10, I had outgrown that Trick or Treating stage. We still had the Parties, tho. But going out with Costumes? I was too "grown" for that. That was also a year after was starting to get DANGEROUS to go out because the Older kids was Jackin' us for our Candy. When I was 8, they TRIED it but I'm a fast runner. Thank God for long legs. Plus, I made sure I had costumes that I could run in and not break my face after I broke my face when I was 6 because this neighbor of mind scared the fuck outta me with a mask after I rang her doorbell. *Shuddering at the Memory*

Now, I never understood the purpose of Mischief night, even as a Child. The Act of thrown toilet paper and eggs on folks cars and house seems kinda retarded to me. I mean, as expensive as toilet paper and eggs are, I could be using them to EAT and wipe my ass. Hell, I live in a house with 3 people and we need all that we can GET. Other kids I knew did this mess, though..and they LOVED it. They always liked to get these 2 neighbors on the block that was ALWAYS startin' shit with folks. Hell, it's STILL the hot house every year. The Other one? NOT ANYMORE. But yeah, they would ALWAYS bomb this chicks house and car with eggs and toilet paper. One year, they went as far as to break the window wipers, all her windows, flatten her tires, smear SHIT all over her car and porch, drench the house AND car with PISS and finished it with the usual eggs and toilet paper. Mischief night is FAST approaching and I'm wondering if this house will the one to get got this year...AGAIN. The DAY of Mischief night when I was in middle school, we ALWAYS had to worry about the neighborhood high school coming to our school and egging us kids. Like I said, FAST FUNNER. Plus my Auntie lived down the street from the school, too? A quick run 2 blocks and I was there in 30 seconds.

LAWD, the Memories.

Some folks STILL ain't get the Memo.

2009-10-20T19:10:00.005-04:00

OK. It has come to my attention that there are CERTAIN things that folks don't know about black folks. Those of you who've known me for a minute know that I detest stereotypes about black folks with a passion. But this right here just proves that SOME things about us are true. Those things are as follows:

1. Don't fuck with our MONEY

2. Don't fuck with our FAMILY.

3. Don't fuck with our FOOD.

Those are the top 3. You wanna see us get pissed? Fuck with ANY of those things and see what'll happen to you. You'll get cussed out and you might even get KILLED, especially when it comes to our food. Hell, we ain't always had much and food is a prized possession in the homes of black folks. Don't believe me? Take a Gander at THIS.

See what I'm talkin' bout?! I swear, I love the passion my people have...when it's focused on the RIGHT thing.

Get Mad @ THEM, Not THEM!

2009-10-12T20:57:00.000-04:00

For once, this blog is gonna be work friendly for those of you viewing this from the computers of your employment offices.

Now, I'm sure by now some of you have heard various stories of folks being cheated on. Hell, some of us have DONE it or had it done to US, excluding myself. Well, there was that ONE time but it wasn't my fault...and it really wasn't. Some of you have heard me tell the story about some female that I had relations with who had a boyfriend that was somebody that I went to school with in middle school. The thing was, she LIED to me and told me she was single because I don't give females the time of day who have boyfriends or husbands, no matter how tempting it is. I really didn't converse with him all that much and when we saw each other, he WOULD tell me about some girl he was dating but there was never a picture shown or anything of the sort. Imagine my surprise when we BOTH found it this heffa had PLAYED us. Long story short, I ended my "association" with her, he broke it off with her, no hard feelings between me and him and that heffa was left out in the cold.

Shit like this happens every day, only it doesn't have MY ending. See, often times, so many people get mad at the OTHER woman or the other man for fuckin' with their spouse or significant other, when more times often than NOT, THEY are the ones being lied to just like the one being CHEATED on is. That always brings up the question in my mind "What you mad at THAT chick/dude for? THEY got played just like YOU did". Sadly, a lot of folks don't see it that way. I'm the type of person that thinks if you gotta go to somebody else, just end the relationship FIRST before you start fuckin' anything that walks. It saves you the guilty conscience, even if you HAVE a conscience, and it saves many of heart breaks, arrests and shed blood. Yeah, SHED BLOOD. Folks will FIGHT you over some dick or some pussy. Me, personally, I don't have time for it. There's always some pussy BETTER and I'm gonna FIND IT.

The only way I can see me even THINKING to fuck somebody up over sleepin' with your spouse or your significant other (the MAIN one) is if the other person KNEW about you and they did it just to be smart. Even THEN, I probably STILL wouldn't mad. Well, I'd be MAD but PROBABLY (and that's a BIG probably) not to the point of beatin' the other dudes ass. But if it was done in MY bed? See, THEN, I gotsta CUT'CHA! You don't DO shit like that to people. The only mans stains I want on MY sheets is MINE. Other than THAT, I say "God bless y'all but FUCK y'all" and my hands is washed. But this is coming from somebody who's single and never dated anybody. I have faith, though, that even if that WASN'T the case, I'd still have the same mindset. Life's to short for the bullshit.

Rambling done.

TAKE CARE OF THAT!

2009-10-02T17:15:00.002-04:00

It has come to my attention that some people don't believe in lotion. I don't know if it's religious, allergy or just pure laziness but they don't like to use lotion or SOME kinda of oils to get rid of the ashyness that we as humans so often suffer with. I don't know WHAT the problem is or WHAT the phobia that some folks have of lotion or the other products that rid us of the ashyassitis stems from, but they REALLY need to get over it. An ashy ass or an ashy face is NOT cute and it's NOT attractive. Suppose you go to some ass persons house to get in a "session" and your body ass just jumps out at them all willy nilly? You gonna make em' throw the fuck up and they PROBABLY gonna laugh your ashy self outta their never to show your face again. Don't even get me started on the ashy feet. Folks, Baby Oils, lotions.....hell, even SHEA BUTTER serves a purpose. I suggest you ashy ass folks get it together and take care of that.

Another thing, Those of you who wear enough Vaseline, lotion or whatever else that folks are able to fry some CHICKEN on your smile, Y'all need to take care of that, too. Learn the PROPER amount to apply to yourself and work with that. Y'alls asses look like y'all is plastic and that you'll melt with enough heat applied to you.

And I'm TIIIDE!!!

Potty Mouth Heffas.

2009-09-29T17:03:00.005-04:00

Saturday when I began my long weekend of running around, I happened to be on the Subway going to my destination. I never leave the house without my iPod and I make sure it's fully charged when I leave. That morning, I had to do it before I left, which didn't take long. Anyway, I could hear these 2 loud ass ghetto women talking over my music (I REALLY need to invest in some new headphones. The ones I have are SHIT). Don't ask me HOW they got to this conversation about the bathroom but one of them was talking about how easy men have it to go to the bathroom and how she wishes women could stand up and pee like men.

*Record Scratch*

Now, I know such conversations take place amongst women but does it have to be in a public setting like this? There's more to the conversation about this mess but I refuse to relive the horrible moments of it. By the time they got to the more graphic details of what they would do if they could stand up to piss, my iPod froze on me and it seemed like an eternity to unfreeze. So, finally, my iPod is back but I couldn't find a song loud enough to drown them out to save my life and I heard more of this fucktation than I would have LIKED to. If I had my guess, these are the ones who probably complain about not finding a REAL man missing the Memo, if they even GOT it, that you attract what you put out.

I guess they missed the Memo that there are just SOME shit that you should NOT talk about IN PUBLIC. Hell, I've had conversations about some CRAZY shit with my homeboys and homegirls but we have the RESPECT for other folks to have them amongst ourselves between 4 walls, doors or whatever the fuck else. People just talk about any and every damn thing in public and think this shit is CUTE. I swear, I done gave them a few of them *Blank Stare* looks, along with other folks, but they were so into the conversation that they ain't see it. I was just waitin' on God to reach down and smack every dimension of hell outta them and some common sense into their thick skulls. The Power of Ignorance and Ghettoness is a serious sickness within our communities, just like Fucktation, Bitchassness and Hateration. It seems as thought it's getting worse as the days go by.

Give A Punk Bitch A Badge.

2009-09-21T19:34:00.005-04:00

This has been on my heart for a minute now. May 2009, I had a situation with me loosing my wallet that had some important information in it and my bank account along with my mothers getting wiped out by some "unknown" person. I had to make a police report about it and lemme tell you, I have never felt so insulted in my LIFE. I won't go into the details because I'll just get pissed off more about it but needless to say, I got treated like some kinda lyin' negro. Oh, and the cop was some beige heffa. I got first hand people don't like to call the cops because the way some of them treat folks is just OFF THE WALL. I understand that their job is hard. Hell, you can't turn on the news nowadays without some story of a cop getting shot in the ass and their lives being taken. I take my hat off to them for doing one of the hardest jobs in the world, other than being a Parent and a teacher in the school system. But DAMN!!

You kinda get the feeling that most of these cops are folks who've been bullied in school and they've never really gotten over it. So, they get a badge and a Lil bit of power and they just go the fuck crazy with it. Some of them are trigger happy and on a power trip. It's really discouraging, to say the least, because these are the people who are supposed to serve and protect us as citizens and it's like some of them do a half ass job because of some bitter feelings about some situation that happened to them. The woman cops are some man hatting mofo's and the men are just punk bitches hiding behind a gun and a taser. Lemme just say that I'm not generalizing all cops because there are some DAMNED good ones but it just seems like they are few and far between. I don't get it and I don't think I WANNA get it..but I can honestly see why so many folks take the law into their own hands. It's not a SMART thing to do but I see why they do it. Less bullshit they gotta deal with from the Boys and Girls in blue.

Rambling done.

Funeral Fucktation

2009-09-11T09:32:00.006-04:00

In my 23 years of Living, I've been to many funerals. I've had to sing at most of them and some of them were family members or friends. For the most part, they were the usual funeral. Folks cryin', snottin', fallin' out and actin' a fool. Usually the ones overcome with so much grief were those who were assholes to the deceased person and their guilt got the best of them at the funeral but I digress. I have to say, tho, that in almost every funeral that I've attended, the fucktation was only with the people there and not the funeral itself. That's why when I see such pictures of funerals that have shit like THIS

I automatically get this uneasy feeling and then I get pissed at the ghettofication. I don't understand it. I mean, I know we was born and raised in the hoodest of the hoods in our own little sections but dammit, why we gotta ACT like it, ESPECIALLY at such an occasion as a funeral? There's a time and a place for ghettofication and a funeral ain't one of them. Sometimes, the funeral services that I've HEARD about just take that big giant step over the line of being Ghetto to just being PURE fucktation. sometimes, they're in the middle of and they're just WEIRD. Just like the Puerto Rican dude who requested to be kept upright at his wake a year ago. THAT shit, while I'm sure it's not that rare that it happens, would just give me the heebie Jeebies. And it was in his Mother's home, too? Can you imagine one of those late nights when you go into the kitchen for a late night snack and you see a corpse in the corner chillin' like "What's up, My Nigga?!". I'd be NO more good. I'd probably get used to it but I won't ever know because it won't happen in MY house.

Now, the Fucktation that I bring to you in this video below is beyond anything that I've seen in my life. Now, I'm sure somebody has DONE this before but I've never heard of it happening, unless it was a murder victim in those old Gangsta movies. Observe.

Now, I'm ASSUMING that it was requested by this man to be buried in his car as his last wish and I'm all for respecting the requests of the dead...but can somebody tell me since WHEN do you need to have a car to go to Heaven or Hell? I thought the Death Angel already had some transportation prepared for you when you take your last breath. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm right. Either way, I hope that car has PLENTY of mileage on it because it's a long ways. I've already spoken about to my Mother numerous times about her final request and all that and I'm gonna do my DAMNDEST to make sure all her requests are brought to light. She's already made it clear on paper that I shall be handling everything because her Husband would be an absolute mess. I'd have to kill him...but if it's too much damn money, she's gonna cremated..WIZZY Style. Gasoline and some matches out in the back of my house. Hell, I have the final say, right? She's DEAD. What does she know? I mean, I haven't really laid out plans for My transition yet. I don't really HAVE em'. I just ask that whoever is doing it send me off with a PARTY. No all that sad shit. I also hope whoever does it that it's done TASTEFULLY. Don't be burryin' me naked in cowboy boats and in no damn coffin that looks like a condom and shit like that. You know how creative muthafucka's can get. But hey, it's the Ghettoness in em'. Gotta love em'.

Bling for the Kitty Kat.

2009-09-10T17:12:00.003-04:00

For as long as I can remember, there has been a long standing tradition to bling your Vagina or you penis. You gave the folks who get them pierced and dye the hairs surrounding them. Me personally, I've never considered doing it (often) but, hey, whatever floats your boat, right? Hell, they even bling out the SEX toys and CONDOMS now. Never thought I'd live to see the day THAT shit would happen. Well, I DID but I just didn't think it'd be so soon. Now, even with all of THAT, they still managed to come up with THIS:

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen. Introducing CLITTER, glitter for your vagina. It's supposed to make it more appealing to the eyes if your vagina looks like it'll detached and swallow a human whole or if it has some type of "defects". Why not fix it with some CLITTER? This should be a best seller if this EVER hits shelves anytime soon.

Shit Outta Luck.

2009-09-04T18:18:00.000-04:00

After A GOOD ass box of Pizza, I goes to the bathroom..and when I finished, I see that there's no more damn toilet paper. I don't know WHO used it and nobody will care to admit to being the culprit. There are 3 of us in this house and nobody has the common DECENCY to change the Lil brown thing that's on the toilet paper rack. I mean, It's not exactly rocket Science, right? No toilet paper, find a roll of it (there are PLENTY because we stock them by the 12 pack in this house) and CHANGE it. I guess that's too much to ask, right? *SMDH*.

A Different World indeed.

2009-09-03T18:01:00.004-04:00

Good Day, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Internet.

It seems as though I see some of the most craziest things when I walk the streets of Philadelphia. But I'm sure that the craziest things don't happen just in Philly. It happens everywhere. All you have to do is read the news for that. Today, though, I just had to share my craziness that I saw with all of you.

As I was waiting for the bus, iPod in hand and in ears, I was just watching the passers by and waiting for the bus to arrive. The Bus arrives, I pay my fair, take my seat. A couple stops after me, This guy gets on the bus with his sunglasses on. I just happened to look over, he pulls out his cell phone and he flips up his glasses to see the number. The only thing was, he didn't flip the SET over his head. That's right, Ladies and Gentlemen. He was wearing a pair of THESE.

Now, the last time I've seen a pair of those was on an episode of "A Different World". I remember the years when I owned a pair of those in my younger years. I lost them at the circus but you couldn't TELL me I wasn't stylin'. Come to think of it, I think that's WHY folks used to call me Dwayne Wayne shit we share the first name. *SMDH*. But I NEVER thought I'd see a pair of these in the year 2009. I guess old styles really IS comin' back.

You Sexy as Fuck. GET OVER IT!

2009-09-01T13:18:00.003-04:00

There seems to be a popular misconception of men that I'd HOPE to put to rest. Hell, there are MANY that both sexes have about each other but, due to time and limited blogging space (and the fact that most of y'alls asses get tired after reading a paragraph and a half), I'll try not to get into all of them. There are so many, I doubt that I will anyway.

I'll just get to the most popular one. See this dude right here?

That's most men when we see a set a titties that we either like or that are just huge in a delicious way. Let's be honest, if you have a dick, chances are, you will be attracted to Titties and ass. So, what's the big deal with a woman getting MAD at a dude who stares at them? I always hear about women complaining about how they'd WISH men would look at her in her FACE and not her titties when they have a conversation. It's a popular misconception that if men only focus on a woman's body in a conversation, that's all we'd want you for if a woman was to give us a chance at letting us in her world. Well...have you ever considered the fact that you might have a dreamboat body and a ship wrecked face? Well, in SOME instances, that's not the case, but in a LOT that is the case. Anyway, I'm just gonna be honest with ya, Ladies. If you have some nice titties and a nice ass, and if I EVER see any of you in the street, I'm gonna look...HARD (But with me, you won't know I'm looking because I'm slick wit it). I'll stare at em' until my fuckin' eye balls fall out. It's no different than a woman talking to a dude with muscles and day dreaming about him being naked. Now, Ladies, I see many of your "Nigga please" faces a mile away. Now, you can't TELL me if this dude walked up to you in the street and started talking to you

you'd listen...much. SEE? SOME OF Y'ALL AIN'T EVEN MAKE IT PAST THOSE PICTURES WITHOUT HAVING TO WIPE OFF YOUR SCREEN!! Some of y'all got that "NOT ME" look on y'alls faces and lemme just say...Y'ALLS LYIN'!!! TELL THE TRUTH AND SHAME THE DEVIL!!

Now, I CAN understand where you're coming from because some dudes just go too damn far. Hell, they'll drool over them shits in mid-conversation and it's not professional and it makes you look LOONY...kinda like SOME of y'all females would do over....HIM, perhaps?

There's a certain slickness you gotta have, as stated before. Hell, I can have a whole conversation with you and look at some titties and you'd NEVER know it. How, you might ask? That's for me to know and you to die trying to figure out. Anyway, just know this. Lust and horniness are embedded into the human DNA and will BE there until we're all extinct. Some just have extra freshness and they can't control it. Some CAN but they just don't WANT to. But why get mad? TAKE IT AS A COMPLIMENT!! THEY THINK YOU SEXY!! Hell, you don't hear no dudes complainin about females having conversations with our dicks. GET OVER IT!! PUT ON YO' BIG GIRL PANTIES (If you WEAR panties) and SUCK IT UP!

and I'm tide.

QOTD: Do You Call Him A Man Or A Woman?

2009-08-31T11:20:00.005-04:00

Well, we know how THEY feel.

How to DO you feel?

Skinty Ass Niggum Confessions

2009-08-28T19:04:00.002-04:00

One of the biggest misconceptions about skinny people is that we don’t eat. I can’t tell you how many times in my life that I’ve gotten asked by muthufuckas did I starve myself, was I anorexic, or did I eat. Hell, I’ve recently got asked was I “Cracking up”. I’m gonna disclose some of those rumors now, being ass those some of y’all stupid asses actually believe that shit, too. Every skinny person does NOT starve themselves, you stupid basitd!! I would actually like to know where that shit came from. While not eating may CONTRIBUTE to our lack of blubber, it’s not the SOLE purpose. Ironically, the people who would asked me those ignorant questions actually were 2 hamburgers away from obesity themselves. That’s when I coined my famous comeback “No, I don’t eat because you eat enough for both of us, you fat fuck!!”. Just like fat people got a bad rap for eating TOO much, we got one for not eating enough. I’ll admit as soon as I take my shirt off, you can damn near see every bone and vein in my body. Doctors never had a problem finding veins with my ass because them shits would just pop up outta know where, even now. But my skinniness is not dude to lack off food. Believe me, I eat my fair share. I actually get hated on by fat people, most of them my closest friends. It seems for some reason, they have a problem with the fact that I can eat all they can eat and MORE without gaining a pound while they gain 20 pounds just by chewing gum. IT’S CALLED HIGH METABOLISM, BITCH!!!…or, in my case, as the case with many others, being blessed. For the longest time, I was insecure about my weight and I’d try to eat as much as I could to gain like 100 pounds, but then one day, I got into an argument with this fat dude, he pissed me off, and I hit him (which was a shocker because I hardly EVER threw the first blow in a fight). I started running and, I’ll admit, his fat ass was gaining on me, but then I dogged his ass through some cars. He never caught me because his fat ass had to catch his breath. That was the day I started celebrating my skinniness….and I’ve been doing it ever since. Just like fat people celebrate they “Baby Fat” (When really, it’s just fat, baby), I celebrate my lack of it, and there are plenty of people right along with me who do the same shit. Besides, I make up for the lack of fatness in my waist in another area. Some other bullshit I‘ve heard fat girls (Excuse me, BBW‘s) say is that they’ll never date or fuck a skinny man for the fear of them breaking us in half. Trust me, Skinny dudes can do some shit that a dude with fat or muscle CAN‘T do. I won‘t say what because that‘s another blog, but trust me, we‘ll leave you satisfied. I will be glad when we as a people get over this bullshit about having to be a certain belt size to be attractive. I say this to big people, too, you don’t HAVE to be my size to be good looking. You can look better than I do the size you are.

And I'm Spent.

Stank Ass

2009-08-26T13:52:00.001-04:00

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I understand that we are human, although sometimes I wonder about that. We all things that we do as humans that are natural. We all eat, sleep, laugh, cry and hurt. We also all fart. Yes, it's true. I mean, you gotta let it out, right? But what bothers me about the farting thing is that there are some people who believe that their farts don't stink. I had this argument (Yes, ARGUMENT, not debate) with a friend of mine not to long ago. The Niggrum farted and then when somebody said it stank, he said "My Farts don't stink". *Blank Stare*. MUTHAFUCKA, IS YOU SNIFFIN' GLUE?! If it came outta where I think it did, THAT SHIT STANKS!!! And his ass just got finished eating some spicy KFC chinken, too? You KNOW he lit that shit up. Thank GOD we was outside. The Nerve of some folks, I swear to you. And that fool actually got MAD that we suggested that the remnant's of his butt trumpet wasn't pleasing to the noses of those around him.

As I said before, We're all human and we all do things as humans and farting is one of them..but if you actually think for a minute that a fart don't stink, something is seriously sick with you. Then again, some folks get off on that shit (No pun intended). If folks like to watch 2 girls shit in a cup and eat it, like watching folks piss and brush their teeth, they'll love a fart. I don't know how they do it. Shit, my OWN damn farts ain't pleasin' to ME and it comes out MY ass. MANY a times I done woke myself outta a deep sleep. I guess people think they're special. *Shrugging shoulders*. Whatever.

Do I get Horny of LAUGH?

2009-08-24T17:14:00.001-04:00

I never was a big porno fan. I’ve preferred the real thing over watching people on a tape having sex. Although, I’ll say they helped me a lot. I’ve watched many in my day..but I’ve never owned it. You know, there’s always one person who’s older than you who has a whole collection of em’. If ever I got the urge to watch one, which wasn’t often, I’d just hit him up and ask to borrow one of his tapes….then, when DVD’s became popular, I’d ask to get his DVD’s. Being as though he’d seen me as a lil brother, he was always willing to let me borrow them because I knew how to took care of shit. That was when I was like 12 or 13, though. Fast forward to age 18. Those same porno’s that once gave me an erection made me laugh, I lie to you not. Don’t ask me how or when this started. One day, I was over his house with a few other dudes watchin’ one of those tapes and while those fools is getting’ all excited, I’m crackin’ the fuck up. I mean, I was laughin’ like I was watchin rush hour or some shit. They just looked at me like “What the fuck is your problem?!”. I already had a big ass grin on my face trying to silence myself, but I just couldn’t do it any longer.

I think the main reason why I laughed was because of the cheesy dialogue. If you ever really paid attention to the shit they say in porno’s, that shit is so fuckin’ cheesy that it’s funny. I mean, while you getting some ass, do you actually talk as long as they do?! Not me. Just drop your drawls and get to it!! Fuck talkin’!! Another thing, the moans. OH GOD!! The moans they moan are just as exaggerated and stage as all HELL!!!! Maybe it’s just me..but I like a movies with good acting, porno’s included. Maybe if they got some better actors for some of them, I’d appreciate them more. I think I can appreciate a sex scene from a movie with a Hollywood actor than a porn star. Not saying that some porn stars don’t give Oscar winning performances because some of them DAMN sure do, but most of them can’t act for shit. It’s kinda like when you go see a movie and the actor is trying so hard to be serious, but they are failing SO miserably that it’s funny. That’s what I see in porno’s.

I’m done.

I said FORGIVE...not be STUPID!

2009-08-19T21:48:00.001-04:00

I often see people get uncomfortable when folks talk about forgiveness...and I've seen it happen with the very FEW times that I've blogged about it or made reference to it in some comment sections while on the Internet. I think I figured out why that is. Folks often link forgiveness with being Weak or Stupid.

For example: If somebody did SOMETHING (anything you can think of) that hurt you...DEEPLY, and they apologize to you and ask of your forgiveness, folks think that to forgive means that you just act like nothings happened and you're old friends, lovers or WHATEVER once again, thus giving the other person another chance to to the same thing again.

It's actually quite the contrary. By forgiving someone, you are actually not giving them the power to make you a bitter, angry individual and you no longer hold a grudge against them. Holding grudges kinda makes you a mean ass person and it makes you hard to trust anybody because of what ONE (or possibly a few other) person(s) did to you. So, you'll walk around life thinking everybody is out to get you and it makes folks not wanna be around you and you're gonna die lonely, bitter and unhappy. Nobody wants to die lonely, I don't think. So, by forgiving someone, you're nixing that in the bud.

With that being said, that does NOT mean that you have to socialize with that person or acknowledge the existence again. Sure, you've forgiven them but that don't mean you gotta be a damn FOOL. You're supposed to get smarter with each situation that you go through because, believe it or not, shit happens for a reason....and sometimes shit just HAPPENS. But still, it HAPPENED. Forgive, forget, MOVE ON. It's gonna take a minute but you CAN. The thing is, some folks (Including some of you READING this) don't wanna move on because it's kinda comfortable feeling this feeling of resentment, right? If you wanna be honest, SOME of the things you mad at other folks about, YOU played a part in it. Get mad at me all you want to but SOMEBODY has to say it. Accept YOUR part in it, forgive THEM for theirs, even if you cut all ties with them, and it'll be over. Quite honestly, it's very reliving and refreshing because you no longer feel weighed down. That's why so many folks have nervous break downs.

It's kinda like that old saying "I can forgive but I can forget". You ain't SUPPOSED to forget it. You're just not supposed to keep dwelling on it and using it as an excuse to hate a certain species, sex or act like a Jackass 24/7. That's all.

With THAT being said, I hope you got it all RIGHT now.....and I'm SPENT.

Random Thoughts: You are NOT the Father.

2009-08-13T10:36:00.004-04:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the shit that truly makes life worth living. Now, as much as I complain about such shows as Jerry Springer and Maury being nothing but the same shit, I STILL watch those shows religiously...well, whenever I can, because, dammit, I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE to laugh at the stupid ass people on there because they truly deserve it. What I think is the most stupidest thing they say on there when somebody laughs at them is that famous T.I quote YOU DON'T KNOW ME!! Hmmm.....Well, Did you NOT just tell us half your damn business on national T.V? I think we know a lil bit TOO much about you..more stuff than we ever NEEDED to know. But we just LOVE that kinda stuff because IT AIN'T US!! Let's be honest. You laugh @ that shit because you know that it ain't you, THANK GOD, because you'd probably say the same shit if you was to ever appear on T.V. Hopefully, some of y'all is smart enough to not EVER appear on no T.V show and tell all y'all business. Hell, it's bad enough that we do that shit when we blog!!!....but that's another blog in itself.

I really don't feel sorry for the ridicule that people face when they appear on talk shows at all. They knew good and damn well what the outcome could've been but yet, they don't care because they want their 5 minutes of fame. For real, tho, some of those people on those shows just downright LIE and they KNOW it. Case in point, this person right here:

There's plenty more memorable clips of similar shows...but that's the one I decided to choose for demonstration. Saves me a hell of a lot of searching to do. Now, That shit right there is just....Hell, I can't even think of a word for it. Now, I don't know the whole story behind that clip but, if I had to guess what was said it was probably "I HAD TO TAKE CARE OF THAT BABY BY MYSELF", "HE DON'T HELP ME", "SHE A HO", "SHE SLEPT WITH SO MANY DAMN MEN!! ANYBODY COULD BE THE FATHER!!". Hell, y'all get the point. All the usual shit said on Maury. I feel as though these chicks just KNOW in they heart that a certain dude ain't the father of the baby but they feel that if they wish hard enough and if they pray hard enough, God will answers their prayers and not make them look like fools, ESPECIALLY on T.V, and they dude they WANT to be the Daddy (or the dude they brought to the show) is the father. Well, sometimes that shit works, and sometimes it don't. Sometimes God be like "NOPE!! NOT TODAY!! ". What gets me is how these chicken heads be so SURE that the dude is the Daddy and then when it ain't, they wanna throw tantrums and shit. YOU SHOULDA THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE THE DICK THREW UP IN THE PUSSY HOLE!! Now, that kids gonna be embarrassed when they grow up because the whole world know they Mama is a Ho. It's a damn shame, really. One guy even asked Maury could he frame the results after he found out he wasn't the Daddy. LMAOO!!

Let's not forget the chicks like this:

That shit HAS to be embarrassing to be on that show more than 5 times (in THAT chicks case, 11 times) and don't know who the baby daddy is. Now, THEM chicks like that just give women a bad name in general. I just got some words of wisdom for you: If you MUST get a paternity test more than once for several men...Hell, even if you gotta get it ONCE, don't ever...EVER...EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVEEER!!!!!....do that shit on T.V. Ok? I'm finished.

GIVE US FREE!

2009-08-12T09:02:00.005-04:00

So, with the recent change in the temperature, it seems as though many of us have been victim to the recent heat wave that's been going around. After all, it IS the Summer time, right? This summer HAS been kinda crazy between the rain and the heat. I think this is the most I've seen it rain in the summer time in my 22 years. Anyway, it seems as though Mother Nature is going through some hot flashes or something because it's CRAZY. Getting ready for church on Sunday, my Stepfather said "DAMN!! It's too hot to even wear CLOTHES" to which I responded "I'm sure folks wouldn't if they could".

So, I started thinking, what if we COULD really walk around naked all the time? I mean, I'm sure some of us do it in our houses but what if we could do it outside? I'm sure it would have it's advantages..MAINLY less money spent on clothes. This Disadvantages would the winter cold..and the fact that SOME people should not be walking around naked in public for the fact they might STONE somebody with their nakedness..not in a good way.

So, what do y'all think about the idea of being naked 24/ 7?

Random Thoughts: WHERE IT IZ?!

2009-08-11T16:14:00.000-04:00

So, earlier today, I was walking to the store. I had my "around the way" clothes on and my hair wasn't brushed. I've been SERIOUSLY considering going bald because the shit is less expensive. I don't have the patience to learn how to cut my own hair and I don't wanna fuck no shit up. So, I'll just leave it to the professionals...but shaving my own head? I can do that. Anyway, I was walking home from the store and went through the alley way to get to my house. Well, there are really 2 ways to get there but the alley way is just shorter and you're less likely to run into fucktards you don't wanna see back there, unless they're the potheads, which I'm cool with because most of us grew up together. So, I'm going home and there's this old ass man and his lady friend (who looked like DEATH because she's been suckin' on the glass dick) who was walking in my direction. I saw the way they were looking at me, so I put my hand on my razor in my pocket in case some shit popped off. So, They get close to me and the woman said "YO, I AIN'T FROM AROUND HERE AND I WAS WONDERING WHERE I COULD GET SOME WEED AT!". I just said that "Naw, I don't know nobody. Sorry". That's a damn lie because half the folks I know around here smoke weed and some even SELL the shit...but I ain't gonna tell THEM that. They were highly pissed about that because they were feignin' for some but they just said "It's cool, Good lookin' out".

Now, this isn't the first time this shit has happened to me. One time it happened to me when I was just coming home from church, Bible in hand and all. I was walking to the bus stop and again, somebody said those EXACT words. I told my Mom about that and she was like "Stupid asses, how they know you wasn't a cop? Why got to an unfamiliar part of the city without your own weed anyway?". Now, today, I told my stepfather what happened when he came home and he said "Hell, the way you was dressed, they probably thought you was a damn dope boy". My Hair and the wiskers on my face probably ain't help, either. Lawd, Today. These folks in Philly, man.

Let's Cut the Bullshit, Ok?

2009-08-06T14:25:00.002-04:00

*Steps on Soap Box*

So, I was sitting here thinking about something.

I've had this revelation since I was a kid, but it seems as though parents are SCARED to talk to their Children about sex, so they just make up crazy shit as to why they shouldn't do it. Don't know what I'm talking about? Here's some examples:

1. If you have sex (before marriage..although, some will say if you do it ANYTIME), your dick or coochie (or both, if you have one) is gonna fall off.

2. Oral sex gives you cancer

3. Kissing will get you pregnant.

And last but not least: I was told by my Homie (named not to be revaled for Privacy reason) said that her mother told her brother that pussy had teeth in it and it would chew his dick off if he had sex.

Now, that bullshit up there and MANY other bullshit myths are SUPPOSED to SCARE children into not having sex but, in SOME cases, it makes them the biggest hoes on the PLANET because they wanna see if this shit was true. Hell, you know kids wanna learn shit the hard way. Then, there are the parents who thing "If I don't say shit about sex, s/he won't know about and s/he won't do it". Now, THAT one is bullshit to the highest level of bullshitity. Hell, I knew about sex at age 9 and I was schooled by my "Big Brothers"...and shortly after that, my Mama. They told me EVERYTHING (Mama's information was more accurate, though). So, you only imagine the age that kids now find out about this. Hell, you'll find a 5 year old who knows more about Doggy Style, Cunnilingus, analingus, and Fellatio than some 60 year olds. So, it's best to just CUT the bullshit and tell em' the gotdamn TRUTH.

I'm not suggesting you tell a 2 year old "You stick your ding-ding in the na-na and hump but remember to put on a mini-magnum". Do it in a way they'll understand but don't it TRUTHFULLY. With all these damn walking STD's out here, we ain't got time to be bullshittin'.

*Steps Off Soap Box*

Tickled Pink? NEVA DAT!

2009-08-05T09:48:00.004-04:00

Saturday ,as Me and my Mother were washing clothes in the Laundromat (Our Washing Machine is broke again. DAMN, DAMN, DAMN!!), we were going through the usual process of the folding up and all that. Somebody in the Laundromat was impressed with the colors of clothing that I have. Don’t ask why but she just was. I have various colors of Shirts, pants, drawls (when I decided to wear them), socks and all that. I have to because I’m dark-skinned and I need to have some light to me so folks can see my black ass, especially when it’s dark out. So, The lady who was impressed with the colors said “Do you wear pink?” and I was about to answer her but my Mother beat me to it and said “Oh, NOOO!! He HATES pink”. The lady was somewhat shocked and said “You’d look nice in it”. I thanked her and went on to say that Pink is not a color that I’d wear…EVER. She then asked me why and I just said “It’s just not my color. Nothing against it but I don’t like to wear it”.

I’ve been that way since I was a kid. I’ve NEVER liked the color pink. I see guys wear it and I think it looks nice on them and I know I’d probably could pull it off. It’s has nothing to do with the “Pink is for girls” mindset that many guys have. I really can’t give you an answer as to WHY I don’t like to wear the color. I just DON’T. I remember when I was getting ready for my prom and I got my Prom date at the last minute (2 weeks before the prom, to be exact). I was gonna go by myself and so was the girl I was going with and I just made a joke saying “Well, we should just go together since we goin’ by ourselves” and she was like “Yeah, that’d be HOT”. The next day, I found out she WASN’T joking and she asked me what colors I wanted to wear. I said “Any Color but pink”. You think this heffa listened? Her Mama called My Mama and told her everything the both of us was planning to wear and low and behold, the heffa got a pink dress and wanted me to get some pink to match her. I was gonna wear White and she said “Maybe if he can get a pink tie to match or a pink shirt” and my Mother said “No, Baby. My Child don’t do pink”. She found on on the prom night that I shall NOT be moved..but we still looked nice nonetheless.

So, what about y’all? Is there any color that you wouldn’t be caught DEAD in?

Rambling: Muffin Tops and Nut Huggers.

2009-08-05T09:35:00.005-04:00

I blogged about this before on my previous site but I just feel moved to blog about it again.

Now, I’m the kind of person who has a VERY open mind and I can pretty much make sense of anything. Even though I might not agree with it, I try to understand it. But the one thing I cannot fathom is this phenomenon of Nut Hugger Jeans. You know what I’m talking about. You see those dudes on T.V and on the street with jeans so tight that they look like they’re 2 steps away from catching a yeast infection in their balls and in their asshole. I don’t understand it and I don’t think I ever will. I get uncomfortable just LOOKING at that shit. I’m just like “HOW THE HELL CAN YOU WALK?”. Shit, how the hell can they BREATHE? I mean, it’s insane to the highest level of insanity. When did this shit become popular for dudes to wear jeans that they look like they got outta their lil sisters closet? Maybe this has ALWAYS been popular but I never noticed it? Anyway, it’s a mess and it’s an epidemic that’s going around like the Saggin’ jeans. Speaking of sagging jeans, why do some dudes wear the tight jeans but they sag? WHATS THE POINT? *Shrugging shoulders*. I don’t know. Oh, and to some of you who may NOT know what I'm talking about, here's a visual.

Another thing that pisses me off to high hell would be the pregnant women who wear their jeans so tight that it looks like it’s cutting off the brain circulation of the babies brain that’s in their stomach. I get a damn headache just looking at it and I pray that the child comes out with a well mind because that looks like it HURTS. I know plenty of women who do that and I’m like “YOU CAN’T DO THAT!!”. Not only is it dangerous to the unborn child (Correct me if I’m wrong if it’s NOT) but as we know, with pregnancy comes the extra poundage in most cases. So, why would you wanna round with the extra pounds hangin’ outside of your jeans lookin’ like a Muffin top? I don’t know. For those visual folks, here's what I mean.

Don’t mind me. Just rambling today. Anything y’all gotta say?

I SAW HER!!

2009-08-01T12:14:00.001-04:00

So, I just came back in the house from running around and while I was out, I saw the Girl I lost my virginity to. I was in the Dollar store and I felt somebody tap me on my shoulder and I turn around and it was HER. I swear to you, I damn near FAINTED. This was a girl who lived around me and she used to come around the block a lot. She has a kid now and she moved down south some years ago. She was up here for a family reunion. She still looks the same and she's still ACTS the same. Has the same pretty smile and has that candid sense of humor that made me love her. I seriously think she coulda been Girlfriend number one but circumstances stopped that. There were many relations after her but she set the bar and while the ones after her came CLOSE, they never were better. All I could here after she left was this song in my head.

What can I say? She had that effect on me and that song was NOTHING farther from the truth. While she wasn't my first CRUSH, she WAS, in a way, the best Girlfriend I NEVER had.

Don't get your feelings hurt.

2009-07-31T09:42:00.005-04:00

I bring you greetings on this fine morning, my most faithful Peasants.

Last week during my off day, I went to my Mothers Job after I had finished doing my running around. She was about to get off work in the next hour, so I figured I'd go to her job and wait for her to get off in her office. Most of the Co-workers know me and her boss is the coolest. So, my Presence their doesn't bother them. Anyway, before I got to her desk, I went to this food truck to get me something to eat and I got my FAVORITE: Chicken Finger platter with BBQ sauce and it was all laced with Ketchup. They give you PLENTY of fries with it, too, so the food NEVER wears off by dinner time. You eat one of those, you most likely won't eat dinner that night because they fill you UP. So, I'm in the office while my Mother does her job runs (I called her to let her know I was there because she wasn't at her desk when I got there) and I'm in there on the computer net surfing and just messin' around. So, one of her nosy ass co-workers smells my food and comes running in there. We exchange greetings and all that and then she looks at my food with a disgusted face saying "EEEWWW!! I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU AND YOUR MOTHER EAT THAT STUFF!! IT'S NOT GOOD FOR YOU".

*Record Scratch*

I swear to you, it took all I could not to call that woman a bitch...but I took a deep breath silently and said "Well, this food might not be good for me but you turning up your face at a black persons food will get you cussed out" and I said it with the most pleasant smile and so eloquently that she didn't know that I was telling her off. She just laughed and left. Now, this isn't the first time in my life that something like this has happened where somebody wanted to tell me how BAD something I was eating was for me. I got the thing of "if you don't wanna EAT it, DON'T...but don't fuck it up for ME!!". It just so happened that most of the time, these folks with vegetarians. I even got the speech one time about "Do you know what animal your eating?" to which I replied "Yes, I do and it taste GOOD, dammit".

Look, I have a pretty open mind and I'm very tolerable of other folks lifestyles, even though I may not agree with it or I may not do it myself. I've been that way since I was a child. I have the mindset of "do you and I'll do me"....but I LOATHE folks who try to do the Guilt thing with me. I mean, what's up with that shit? I mean, I appreciate you lookin' out and I'll even listen to it..but GOTDAMN!! Just know when, where and HOW to do and say certain shit.....ESPECIALLY about somebodies damn food. You don't fuck with folks food, family or MONEY. That shit'll get you CUT.

In Other news (That you probably won't see on T.V).........

2009-07-29T17:30:00.001-04:00

Black Youth Invents Surgical Technique - at 14

By: Jackie Jones, BlackAmericaWeb.com

Tony Hansberry II isn’t waiting to finish medical school to contribute to improved medical care. He has already developed a stitching technique that can be used to reduce surgical complications, as well as the chance of error among less experienced surgeons. "I've always had a passion for medicine," he said in a recent interview. "The project I did was, basically, the comparison of novel laparoscopic instruments in doing a hysterectomy repair.” By the way, Hansberry is a 14-year-old high school freshman. In April, the brilliant teen presented his findings at a medical conference at the University of Florida before an audience of doctors and board-certified surgeons. Hansberry attends Darnell-Cookman, a special medical magnet school that allows him to take advanced classes in medicine. Students at the school master suturing in eighth grade. "I just want to help people and be respected, knowing that I can save lives," said Hansberry, the son of a registered nurse and an African Methodist Episcopal church pastor. His goal is to become a neurosurgeon. The idea for his procedure developed last summer during an internship at the University of Florida's Center for Simulation Education and Safety Research at Shands Hospital in Jacksonville. Hansberry responded to a challenge to improve a procedure called the endo stitch, used in hysterectomies that could not be clamped down properly to close the tube where the patient’s uterus had been. The teen devised a vertical way to apply the endo stitch and, using a medical dummy, completed the stitching in a third of the time of traditional surgery. “It took me a day or two to come up with the concept,” Hansberry said. He was supervised by Dr. Brent Siebel, a urogynecologist, and Bruce Nappi, administrative director of the Center for Simulation Education and Safety Research. Hansberry’s discovery won second place in its regional science fair in February 2009 in the medical category. Education experts say youngsters as young as 10 can experience great achievement at an early age if their thirst for knowledge is encouraged and they are given opportunities to shadow professionals and get internships. Also, a rigorous study schedule that also builds in some recreation is key. High school internships and other programs are being used by educators to boost the number of young people interested in medicine in the face of projections that there will be a doctor deficit of as many as 200,000 physicians by 2020. "It's not hard if you have a passion for it," Hansberry said. Angela TenBroeck, the medical lead teacher, said in many ways, Hansberry is a typical student, but, she told the Florida Times Union that he is way ahead of his classmates when it comes to surgical skills. "I would put him up against a first-year med student," she said. "He's an outstanding young man. And I'm proud to have him representing us."

Lil Fuckers.

2009-07-25T11:03:00.003-04:00

As much as I love my house and the memories that I've had in it from the time I was brought home from the hospital, I sometimes wish that we didn't live here. Aside from a certain house of neighbors and all manner of blue eyed fuckery that they've given to the block with their presence, behind our house there are train tracks. With train tracks comes a lot of nastiness. The main thing this nastiness attracts are these little visitors below.

Lately, they've been getting a lil bold around these parts. I mean, there can be a house full of people here and them lil bastards can just pop out and be like "SURPRISE, MUTHAFUCKAS!!". God forbid somebody is here and they're scared shitless of them. Now, While I don't like them, I'm not afraid of them. I've had many run ins with them in my growing up, as I'm sure most of us have. I had one last night while I was sleeping with one in my trash can and when I turned on the light, the little fucker winked at me and then ran off. There was another night where I was sitting typing on my computer in the winter time and felt one run up my leg. Those are only 2 of the many experiences I've had with them but you get the point. I have to say, I don't know WHY people are so scared of them, even though I understand it. I just have to remember that more times often than not, they're more afraid of me than I could ever be of them. I'm a giant compared to them and all I gotta do is squash the lil fucker with my foot. Cats are outta the question because I live with my Mother and she's allergic to them...not to mention terrified to high hell of them. So, we'll just stick to the sticky ass traps. Which reminds me, the next time I go out, I have to stock up on em'. So, if you see millions of people from PETA protesting in front of a Lil house in Philly because a tall skinny black man has be accused of Animal Cruelty for feeding a mouse to one of the many stray cats round here, don't be surprised.

The Highest Level of Pissivity.

2009-07-24T19:12:00.005-04:00

If you've been reading my blogs regularly, you know how I feel about bathrooms that ain't the one I have in my house. I HATE them. Even down my families house, I won't go to their bathrooms unless I'm desperate to high hell no matter HOW bad I have to go. I've been that way since I was a kid. So, today, at work, I was desperate to high hell after Lunch. I tried not to eat so much but hell, breakfast wore off from this morning. Not to mention all the snacks I had during the course of the day. Keep in mind, I've been to this bathroom before and it was TERRIBLE. I've vowed never to go back in there EVER but today, I saw the janitors go in there and clean it. I went RIGHT in after him and I'm like "Maybe it won't be so bad". WRONG. I open the door and it was like a million years of piss and shit that have been saturated on the toilets, the walls and EVERYTHING hit me in the face. I damn near fainted and went to glory first class. I told the janitor "Whatever y'all usin' to clean these bathrooms ain't workin'." He then said "Tell that to the cheap ass administration". Needless to say, I held it till I got home 5 hours later and damn near broke the door down getting in. All My Mother could do was shake my head at the sight of her 6'2 140lb child running into the house and up to the bathroom with his book bag on his back. It's a shame I can't find a clean bathroom anywhere in this city but my house...and a few friends and family members. I don't know why I expected such anyway.

I see why I'm childless.

2009-07-23T15:46:00.003-04:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm tempted. I'm Tempted to high hell to grab some of these kids, take of my belt and beat the FUCK outta them to high hell until they don't know left from right, up from down, and that they are tasting their brains in their taste buds. I'm not just talking about LIL kids, either. I'm talking about Preteens, Teenagers...hell, even some GROWN ass kids. I'm sick of the disrespectful lil bastards who just don't have no fear for NOBODY because they Mama or Daddy (if they even know who the fuck that niggum or pilgrim is) ain't put it in em'. I see it all the damn time. They come out their mouth with the most disrespectful shit and do the most off the wall shit that I wouldn't DARE try in my lifetime. CURSE THE MUTHAFUCKAS WHO COINED THAT "CALL THE COPS IF YO' PARENTS WHOOP YOU" LAW! They fucked it up for ALL of these future generations. Now, Granted, some kids don't need it. I was one of them...but MOST of these fuckers need to get their brains beat in just ONE damn time by their parents or Guardians. Hell, if THEY don't do it, the fuckin' COPS will. I swear, I just wanna go up to em' and just do this:

Ok. I feel better now that I got that off my Chest.

*Switching to Happy Mode*.

How y'all doin'?

He's Sorry...AGAIN.

2009-07-21T11:17:00.012-04:00

In February, We got how sorry and saddened he was. Recently, we’ve gotten this.

Now, I’ve never blogged about this situation when it first happened because I never had to. Everybody was doin’ it left and right for me. I’ve just stated my views on blog comments and on you tube video’s about this and that was it. Needless to say, I’ve gotten a lot of shit about my views on men hitting women and women hitting men, MOSTLY from females (and males) who have been abused, seen it and are still bitter about it and from people who are over 30 that have never heard of either Chris or Rihanna until this shit hit the media. It’s my belief that neither of them should hit each other because I was brought up that way.

Now, I have to say that whether what was said in the video was read off a teleprompter or not, I really think Chris is truly remorseful about what he did and he wishes he could take it all back. I give dude props for even apologizing publicly because he really doesn’t owe the public an apology for ANYTHING. He owes it to Rihanna and that’s it. It’s obvious that she BEEN forgave him because the both of them are still friendly. If it was ME, I woulda just did my time and that was it. Hell, you ain’t see Mike Tyson tell how sorry he was for whopping’ Robin Givens ass and James Brown never said how sorry he was for slappin’ females left and right. Hell, Jay-Z has yet to apologize for THIS shit.

Now, in no way am I condoning domestic violence. I hate it and I’ve seen it first hand myself, not in my household but from people I know. I’m just sayin’ that even if you can’t forgive the ACT, we should at LEAST forgive the person. People change, right? So, Chris and Rihanna, if you’re reading this, I wish you both much success, not stress and lot’s of happiness. Just do what you’re supposed to do and entertain the masses with your singing, dancing and acting. This whole thing will be an after thought very soon. I also Challenge us as a people to stop putting entertainers on Pedestals so when they fuck up in the heat of the moment, we're not so shocked about it. For Christ sake, they are HUMANS, NOT FUCKIN' ROBOTS!!! They're humans with a lot of money (well..some of them have a lot of money) and they do stupid shit like those of us who ain't famous. The difference is, they're constantly documented in the media and half the time, it's to crucify them and sabatoge their careers. Sure, we can say "they should think before they act" and that they should....but shouldn't WE?

Now, if Chris does this AGAIN, he can kiss his career goodbye.

Sinus infections are a BITCH.

2009-07-20T10:44:00.003-04:00

"Basically, I have an issue with not knowing when to say enough is enough, so last night in Manchester, my body said it for me. I got on stage energized and ready to go, even tho for the last 5 days I’ve been dealing with a sinus infection. I paid it no real mind, and kept on going, like I always do. My voice couldn’t take it. From the first song I knew something was wrong. I shoulda stopped there, but I come from a school where no matter what, the show must go on. It wasn’t until about 4 songs in that I came to the painful realization that my voice was done, literally nothing left, and that I would have to stop the show.

Now let me explain something to you:
When I say this music, that stage, my fans, THIS is my life, I’m not saying it cause it sounds good in a sound bite. THIS IS MY LIFE!! Not much else matters to me, honestly. My music, my family and the people that appreciate my music…..the fans. THAT’S ABOUT IT!! I’ve never had to stop a show, never dreamed I’d ever have to. So when I had to walk out on that stage and tell 12,000 of the people responsible for making me who I am that I could not perform for them, it literally broke my heart. I cried harder than I have in a very long time with no shame whatsoever.

To anyone out there that would like to question my manhood because of this I’ll say this to you:
If the one thing you cared about more than anything else in the world was threatened or even taken from you, if you knew that the people you cared for the most you had to disappoint and it was your fault… and this didn’t spark some kind of emotional outbreak within you…then with no shame I’ll say you are truly a stronger man than I.

To the people of Manchester, know that I love you and I thank you for being so understanding and supportive. And I promise you that you will receive the show deserved.
Thanks to the fans for the love and concern.

And to the bloggers….go to hell."

Now, as a singer, I feel this guy. Singing with any kind of ailment, whether it be a sinus infection, a toothache, a headache...or ANYTHING is not the bizzness..at ALL.

Such a Gamble.

2009-07-18T20:34:00.001-04:00

I'm the kind of person who will try to understand something that I don't if it really strokes my interest. So, maybe somebody could explain to me that attraction to gambling. I've heard all the reasons as to why one would do it but the biggest one I've heard would be the Thrill is in the risk taking. I've been to the casinos a few times in my life and, while the scene was fun, I actually didn't really like it much. I won some money (Won't tell you how much because it ain't none of ya damn business) but I didn't really enjoy it too much. I mean, I enjoyed it but it was kinda like "This is IT?!". People have hyped up casinos so much that I was expecting it to be the greatest thing since your first orgasm.

I've seen folks loose house and marriages over ones gambling. It's like a DRUG. Once you start, you can't stop without some serious will power and maybe a class. Then again, there are the ones who just do it for fun and they know their limits. Don't even get me started on the lottery players. Yup, I know those, too. Got plenty of em' in my family. They'll take their LAST cent and go play the numbers. The most I do are the Scratch offs and I don't even do those often. I was taught that gambling lives up to it's name. You gamble the chance that you loose and you gamble the chance that you'll win. I'm more about SURE money. When I go to work and get paid, I'm SURE I'm gonna get that shit in my bank account and I can work with that.

So, whats your take on Gambling? Do you do it? HAVE you done it? You know people who do or have done it? Talk to me, Good people.

Always gotta show your ass.

2009-07-11T19:11:00.001-04:00

OK, Ladies and Gentlemen.

A while ago, I went for a walk to the corner store. As I'm coming out, I see this dude and this Girlfriend. Now, I know dude from around the way since I was a kid but I don't fuck wit him like that. He's one of those insecure about himself types and he always gotta brag about his shit. Nobody really likes him. Anyway, I see him and his girl (Who is a SEXY ass biggum...but I digress) on a motorcycle as I come out the store. Well, he's stopping at the stop sign to talk to somebody in a car and I'm about to cross the street. Low and Behold, I'm seeing this:

The difference between this picture and what I saw was it was a pleasure to look at. Anyway, he's in the midst of his conversation and She sees me admiring her assets with a big ass smirk on my face. She turns around and notices me and I just gave her the lil signal with my head like "Take care of that". She turns around to her ass and did the lil Ooops thing with her mouth. You can tell she was kinda embarrassed about it. So, she gave me a "Good lookin'" wink and I just smiled at her and left. I'm still trying to figure out what the hell she was doin' in that lil pussy tight dress in this weather with no panties on...but hey, more power to her.

In this situation, this girl was nice to me. But I'm sure that we all know, that that isn't always so in all cases. I've heard the stories about how women be on motorcycles with the pussy tight dresses on and the coochie cutter shorts on and when a dude looks, she gets an instant additude. I've blogged about this kinda subject before...but again I ask: If it's OUT there, WHY GET MAD?! I mean, seriously, if you showin' it, expect some looks. Obviously, that's what you wanted, right? So take it to the chin and suck it up. You a big girl, right?...and I mean GROWN UP!

My Ass ain't touchin' THAT.

2009-07-08T21:10:00.000-04:00

Today's subject is something that many people have blogged about numerous times. That subject is using a bathroom that isn't yours, whether it be a public bathroom or the bathroom of a close acquaintance. As a little boy, I was always a careful person. Now, don't get me wrong, I've done my share of things that WEREN'T so careful but for the most part, I usually thought about the outcome of certain things I did. I used to analyze EVERYTHING. Come to think of it, I still do. Hell, My Daddy used to be a cop and my Mama is just nosy as hell. I think I inherited those things when it comes to analyzing. I can pretty much analyze the SHIT outta anything that I want. Bathrooms are no different. I've always been uncomfortable usin a bathroom that wasn't mine, even if it was over a family members house. There's just something about using a toilet that ain't mine that make me unsatisfied, no matter how clean it LOOKS. First off, I have to consider the people using it, ya dig? So public bathrooms were almost out for me. You don't know WHO'S ass sat on it. For all you know, you might sit on it and catch somebodies hemorrhoids or something. I'm just sayin'. This is why I often have to wonder how folks can use a bathroom that ain't theirs comfortably. I will almost always NEVER use a bathroom that ain't mine..but sometimes, desperate times call for desperate measures. Just not to long ago, my good Childhood friend came over to put the finishing touches on his resume. He came in with a bag from KFC and apparently, it must been good to him. This is the same dude who used to spend all day, every day down my house. Hell, he was like one of us. He ate all the food and practically lived at my house. He just slept at the house with his Mama and 2 sisters...and sometimes, he wouldn't even do THAT. Well, anyway, he got finished eating and went to the bathroom downstairs in the basement in order to not wake up my Mother. So, I'm lookin' over the shit he typed just to make sure he spelled some things correctly and then I hear the toilet flush. THEN, I hear air freshener. *Blank Stare* then, I hear the toilet fill up and then I hear him flush it again. *LONGER blank Stare*. Then he came upstairs like everything was all good. I just looked at him like "Niggum, NO you didn't just shit in my bathroom". He saw the expression on my face and said "What? I at least I washed my hands". This isn't the first time he's done this to SOMEBODY. He does it all the time at peoples houses. Now, I know when you gotta go, you gotta go..but DAMN! Don't even get me started on the family members that come here. *SMDH*

Now, the toilet in my basement is one of those lil CUTE small toilets. Now, I'm tall and skinny and can hardly fit one ass cheek on the thing. So, can you imagine some of the more *Ahem* plumpish people sitting on that thing? Just to give you an idea of what I'm talking about when I say CUTE toilet, this is it.

Y'all get the picture now? Anyway, to all of you who can shit and piss all Willy nilly on any toilet, I take my hat of to you। I don't know how you DO ITbut GOD BLESS YA! If I can help it, the only toilet that I'm using is MINE...and MINE ALONE. Now, if I ate something that goes through me, all bets are off.

It all comes back.

2009-07-08T12:41:00.004-04:00

If it's one thing I've learned in my 22 years on this earth, it's to be careful how you treat people. My Mother and my Grandmother (God rest her soul) taught me this lesson from when I was a little boy and reminded me of this when all through my upbringing. Even as a grown man, My Mother STILL tells me "You reap what you sow" and I can still hear Granny's words SO clear that said "Baby, life is like a bank. What you deposit, you'll get it back out". I see some people were never taught this lesson as a child and even if they WERE, they don't believe it. I guess that's why they're so surprised when they get out out negativity, they get the same thing back. It might not be today, tomorrow, next week or even next year...but it ALWAYS comes back. You can call it God's Will, Karma, Life's Boomerang, etc. WHATEVER you call it, it's all the same thing.

When I see folks who are ALWAYS puttin' out negativity and they get it back, I smile..life the fuckin' Joker. It's against my Religion to take joy in ones misery but when you put it on yourself, I feel NO sympathy for you. AT ALL! I'll be the one to remind you of the shit you did when you say you don't understand why all this bad stuff is happening to you. Now, that's not always the case. Sometimes, shit just happens and we do nothing to deserve it. It's just bad luck...or what I like to call Life's Pop Quizzes. You might not have studied for it but it's there like "TEST TIME!!! let's see if you'll get an A+". Y'all know what I'm talkin' bout. But most times, the shit that happens to us, good or bad, are often results of our own doing. Some of you who are always playing the "Blame Game" may not receive that because being the victim is a lil bit too comfortable for you and you don't wanna take responsibly for you own shit. That's cool. Wallow in your depression for as long as you live. I could care less. As for me and MY house (that I don't even OWN yet...but I'm speaking it into existence), Accountability is a BIG priority and a must. Say you fucked up and do all you can to unfuck it up. If it can't be unfucked up, then just deal with the consequences like a grown ass man or a grown ass woman. Just remember, more than likely...YO' ASS DID IT TO YOURSELF!

Too Damn Happy

2009-07-07T10:05:00.008-04:00

I love people who are just naturally happy. I think it's a wonderful thing to always have a smile on your face and to always have a cheerful spirit. I love people like that with all my heart and I envy them to some extent because I'm not all the way there. I'm HALFWAY there but not all the way. I'm working on it.

But I have to say this:

SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST TOO FUCKIN' HAPPY!!

Yeah. I said it. There are just too fuckin' happy for their own good. I'm sure you know some people like that. I've worked with them for a minute. There's nothing WRONG with a person being happy but sometimes, that shit gets annoying. I mean, the folks who just are always smilin' like the fuckin' Joker and they're always so bouncy. Hell, there was a girl I worked with who would just skip into the work place early in the gotdamn morning when the rest of us would be draggin' in there. I'm not a morning person, so maybe that's kinda why I'm always very skeptical around folks who are as happy as R. Kelly at a high school cheer-leading competition in the morning. It's not just in the morning, though. I can't explain it...but I'm sure y'all know what I'm talkin' about. You have to wonder if some of these people are on that blue pill magic. If they drink COFFEE, they need to switch to Decaf or drink LESS of it. Too much caffeine will kill you any-damn-way.

Still, You gotta love em'.

What's in a name?

2009-07-06T15:34:00.006-04:00

Ladies and Gentlemen of the internet world, I come to you in a spirit of just pure amazement.

As the tittle suggest, this blog is about names. Lately, I've noticed that people having children recently have been trying to come up with some creative names for their children. Come to think of it, this is nothing new considering some of the names our Grandparents and Parents have. But these days? The names of our children are becoming more ridiculous with every baby that pops out the birth canal. I understand that parents want their children to have their own uniqueness and their own identity but the lengths that they go to I simply cannot FATHOM! I simply feel sorry for any child with a name that sounds like silverware or that sounds like some shit that you catch after you get burnt while just finishing a one night stand. This is coming from somebody who considered naming their Daughters Shaniquah and Ashinkashay (I told my Mother that Ashinkashay name as a joke to see what she'd say. She told me she kick the Holy Hell outta me if I did that). I've since grown up from that way of immature thinking. I won't get into some of the Crazy names that I've heard in my lifetime but I think you can understand where I'm coming from.

I challenge all the parents of Today to STOP THE MADNESS! I mean, you hear a child's name and the first thing that you think of is STRIPPER. Black folks have always been creative with our names. It's just in our nature..but I feel that we just go TOO damn far. At LEAST let it be a name that a teacher can pronounce, remember and SPELL. Stop it with all these damn fake ass African names and Assalamu Fakekum names. It will save a child much embarrassment on the School yard and on the job. YA DIG ME?

Amazement Rambling completed.

From Bad Boy to Islam, Boy!

2009-07-06T11:56:00.003-04:00

DAMN!!! I was WONDERING what happened to this dude. He came and went so damn FAST!!!

So, that makes 2 of Diddy's rappers that found religion. What he hell is Diddy DOING over @ Bad Boy?! He can't seem to keep nobody for more than 2 fuckin' albums!!!

Rambling: So smart you're a dumb ass.

2009-07-04T21:31:00.005-04:00

I swear, The longer Live, the more I'm amused by some folks. I really am. I'm more amused by the folks who think they know every damn thing. The tripper is, they take folks not arguing with them or folks just being silent as evidence that they "shut it down". While that may be the case SOMETIMES, other times it's just that in their minds they figure "I'm not gonna argue with this dumb ass because it's no use". You can't argue with anybody who thinks they know everything and quite honestly, it's very taxing & it's waste of good energy that you could be using doing something USEFUL. Arguing with a dumb ass is like having sex without bustin' a nut. It's a waste of fuckin' time and it will make you mad at yourself for waisting your fuckin' time.

It's hard as hell NOT to sometimes but it's really not. Just don't say shit and let them look like an asshole from afar. You probably won't be the only one who thinks what you think about them. They'll figure it out once nobody wants to be around their ass. Still, they make for good entertainment. Sometimes you need a laugh..and Lord knows, I need all the ones I can get. They say laughing makes you live longer. I'm trying to live as long as I POSSIBLY can.

Tatted to the highest level of fuckery.

2009-07-04T08:33:00.004-04:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have no problem with folks that have multiple tattoo's. I happen to think they are beautiful. But the thing is, as with all things, not everybody can pull it off, especially those of us who have a dark complexion. Even if we WERE to get multiple Tattoo's all over, there are certain ones that would not fit our features. And that's not just with Dark people. It's with people who are white, brown, Purple, green and RED. Case in point:

This THING (From the comments I've read on this picture, its a woman) decided to get Baby Phat tattooed on her ass with strawberries on each cheek. While the CONCEPT may have been sexy and the picture of the ass she might saw this on mighta been a pleasure to look at, she decided that "If THAT heffa can do it, I can too". NOOOOOO, BOOOO!!!

If I have to be my last amount of money, she probably didn't tell nobody she was doing this and wanted to surprise her man..or her WOMAN. Hell, for all we know, they other party probably ENJOYED the shit. At least she had that good sense to make sure it was at a place where the sun don't shine or set. For THAT I give her credit. Now, those of us who have tattoo's know that the healing process is a BITCH and it itches like HELL. Imagine having a tattoo of THIS magnitude of fuckery on your ass. Enough said....but hey, GOD BLESS HER.

Another thing, if you gonna at LEAST get a tattoo, at LEAST make sure the shit LOOKS professional. That shit looks like it was done by an amateur...or maybe it was the Cigarette burns and ass acne on her ass cheeks that made it look like that? Iono.

The Dirtiest Word of All

2009-07-03T20:20:00.000-04:00

I come from a long life of what I call Cussin’ Christians. Saved, Loved the Lord and all that but had no problems cussin’ you out in the name of Jesus. That may sound backwards to some people but it is what it is. I was raised around it and I inherited it, whether I wanted to or not. They could make up some words that you’d NEVER heard of and it made sense. So, hearing the words “Bitch”, “Muthafucka”, etc. doesn’t bother me like it does some folks. Some people call it dirty words but I don’t see it that way. Not that I would use those words in a professional setting or anything like that but it just seems like those words have no effect on me. I’ve heard it since I was brought home from the hospital and continue to hear it every day from family members and folks in my inner circle. I was always taught that words give them power over you if you let them. I didn’t always believe that, being a child as sensitive as diaper rash, but as I grew older, I finally got that revelation. I have to say, though, there is one word that I despise with a passion and most people, even those who don’t cuss, say it all the time. It’s even a word that I’ve said for most of my life and I’m making an effort to eliminate it from my vocabulary. To me, getting called this word is worse than getting your ass whooped as a child and it’s right up there with being spit on.

What word is that you ask? It’s THIS one. STUPID.

It’s a simple word to some but that word has broken many folks spirits and has caused more trauma than being called anything else on this round earth. It concerns me because it’s a word that is thrown around all the time and not given a second thought. “He’s so stupid”, “she’s so stupid”, “that’s stupid”, etc. You get the point? I even hear that word spoken to children from their parents or any other adult in their lives. If you were anything like I was for most of my childhood, that word could change your day and fuck it up to high hell. I happen to believe that NOBODY is stupid on this earth, in spite of what they do. We may do stupid THINGS and ask stupid QUESTIONS but nobody is stupid. As I’ve said before, I hear this word thrown in the direction of children and it hurts my heart because most children are impressionable. They believe anything that any “adult” says and if they’re constantly being described as such, they grow up thinking that they are, especially if it’s all they hear. Just my opinion anyway.

Let's End This....RIGHT NOW!!!

2009-07-03T20:19:00.001-04:00

*Steps on Soap Box*

There seems to be a misunderstanding with the definition of the world "Hustle". So, I'd like to clarify that to the best of my ability and I hope that you'll get a CLEAR understanding of what it means.

A Hustle is something that you do in ADDITION to your regular 9-5 job, if you have one. Many people CONFUSE a hustle with a regular 9-5 job, whether that 9-5 is legal or not. If you do it damn near every day and do NOTHING else BUT that and get paid for it, it's a JOB!!! NOTHING ELSE. Whether it's selling drugs, DJ'ing, baking cookies..WHATEVER. It doesn't matter WHERE it's done...and yes, this includes folks who get a check for disablities, whether it be mental or physical, and folks who get retirment checks.

Get it? Got it? GOOD.

*Steps off Soap Box*

WOW!!

2009-07-03T20:16:00.000-04:00

In the recent months, I've been seeing so much displays of public almost-Fucking that it's not even funny. It almost always happens when I'm going through a drought of some sort but I digress.

On June 25th, 2009, I went out with my Mother to run some errands when she was off work. I got some shit for me, too. Hell, I needed it and I deserved it. Anyway, We sat down to get something to eat in the food court of this place Called "The Gallery". It's the hot shopping spot in Philly and most of the young kids go there, mainly when they cut school. Needless to say, it was right around the time school was letting out, so we tried to get outta there as quick as possible because it's always some shit goin' down in there. The stuff you would see would make a damn BLIND man shake his head. Anyway, I'm sitting down eating the food I got from Burger king and 2 girls (one of which actually looked like a dude) were in line to the KFC place right next door to the burger. Why did this girl slip her hand down the other girls pants and get a feel of the pussy....IN PUBLIC? She had her hand their for at LEAST 2 minutes and you could see her rubbing.

Now, my Mother saw everything, as did I, and she said "DAMN!!! She all in the crack of her ass!! Don't nobody wanna see that shit"...and she said it LOUD, too. Everybody was lookin' at us. I was "Ma, shut up!!" She was like "Why I gotta shut up? They should wait until they get home to do that shit!!". By this time, they lookin' @ us and you can tell they felt some type of way they got called out. Needless to say, they ain't say nothin' because they woulda got a Mother/Son ass whoopin' had they did. I woulda took the manly looking one and Mama woulda took the Woman looking one. They left and I just looked @ my Mama and shook my head. She was like "What? they wanted to say somethin'? I wish that heffa would". I SWEAR I love my Mama...but I can't take her NO WHERE.

Poppin' The Cherry.

2009-07-03T19:39:00.002-04:00

Time to De-Virgitize my blogspot page.

So, I was over on wordpress for a minute and it just wasn't do it for me no more. I couldn't do everything that I wanted to do with a page over there. So, Here I am. If you've followed my blogging from wordpress to HERE, nothing will change. Still the same shit...just a different page.

Let's MAKE IT!